Listen to Your Yeitzer Ha-Ra

It is a mitzvah like no other.

“If you go out to war against your enemies, and the Lord, your God, will deliver them into your hands, and take captives. And you see among the captives a beautiful woman, and you desire her. You may take her as a wife.” (Devarim 21:10-11)

This is the mitzvah of eishet yefat to’ar, the captive bride, Mitzvah #532 in the Sefer Ha-Chinuch.

Really?! It is true that there are very specific guidelines attached to the permissibility of such a captive bride, and the Sages struggle to explain the order of events. No one is encouraging such an eventuality, but the very possibility raises eyebrows. Does this treatment of captives correspond to the Torah’s moral code? Should a vanquished woman be forced to marry her captor against her will? It is a strange mitzvah indeed.

The traditional response to these questions is found in Kiddushin 21b: “Lo dibra Torah ela k’neged yetzer ha-ra – the Torah is relating in this situation to a person’s evil inclination.” In effect, expected behavior takes a back seat to desire. How can this be?! As Rabbi Yair Kahn of Yeshivat Har Etzion puts it:

“Isn’t the Torah a blueprint for the redemption of man? Isn’t the purpose of the mitzvoth to help the individual control their desires and lead a moral life? Wouldn’t it be more appropriate for the Torah to encourage one who encounters the beautiful captive to overcome the carnal desire? Why do our Sages suggest that the Torah allows us to give in?”

Lo dibra Torah ela k’neged yetzer ha-ra recognizes the reality of human frailty.

We are human beings. Permission to marry the captive bride is an accommodation to human weakness. It is a singular acknowledgment that our desires can get the better of us.

At the same time, it comes with a warning. No good comes out of this union. The Talmud states that marrying the yefat to’ar will lead to a dysfunctional family and, ultimately, a ben sorer u’moreh, the rebellious child. We are warned about the danger, but it is still allowed. Why? The dangers serve as motivation to fight even if technically we are allowed to give in.

Rabbi Michael Rosensweig of Yeshiva University writes:

“[T]he Torah communicates through the halachot of yefat toar that one must strive mightily to maintain halachic standards and perspective even in the most challenging environments and circumstances. While conceding man's spiritual frailty… our ultimate goal is to attain authentic kedushah (holiness)…”

Sometimes, we may grudgingly listen to our yetzer ha-ra and give in to our desires. It may be allowed, but it is not ideal. It is the exception that is meant to guide us back to following the rules.

The captive bride demonstrates the very real struggle of being human. We know what we are supposed to do. Sometimes, we face temptation. Ideally, we resist. We understand there are limits. There may also be consequences. But…sometimes the desire is too strong, and we transgress. Hopefully, we do better next time.

This is the “conversation of the evil inclination” the Torah describes with this episode.

OK. We’re human. We struggle. We make mistakes. We fall, and we get back up again. Why teach this lesson specifically using the eishet yefat to’ar? The details of the captive bride are mind boggling. After all the explanations, one word still comes to my mind: Really?!? How would we respond to a real-life implementation of this mitzvah. Even if it could not happen today, I have always wondered if such a case was ever confronted. Let’s say it happened. How would we respond? I know how I would respond: That’s preposterous!

Eishet yefat to’ar is presented as a cautionary tale that no sin should be unfathomable. Lo dibra Torah ela k’neged yetzer ha-ra. The evil inclination is real, and sometimes it wins. Do not be surprised by what people are capable of doing. 

Our contemporary reality proves this. This past year, we have witnessed the pure evil of innocents slaughtered and ripped from their families. We have seen American students wave Hamas flags. We have seen supposed friends and allies refuse to acknowledge the crimes committed against the innocent. The Torah warned us about this. The yetzer ha-ra is evil. We ignore ours – and its power over others – at our own peril.

Listening to the yetzer ha-ra is relevant as the High Holidays approach, and we are tasked with reflecting on our actions and decisions. The sins we see or hear about or commit are reminders and cautionary tales of how easy it is for anyone to act in surprisingly terrible ways. If eishet yefat to’ar can occur, how much more so, must we pay attention to the mistakes we are capable of and those made by others.

Let’s listen to the yetzer ha-ra. Just as heeding it can be responsible for unfathomable mistakes and lows, taking heed and acting positively can propel us and those around us to unfathomable heights in the coming New Year.

Chasing Tzedek

This week has us screaming for justice.

On Sunday, we were shattered by the news of the six hostages murdered just before IDF troops reached them. Throughout the week, we saw images and heard reports of how much our enemies hate us. Our kids are back on campuses where rules against hate-speech and interfering with students are not enforced. Institutions we think we can trust do nothing or even pile on the hatred. A doctoral student at Columbia University, who was roundly mocked for demanding "humanitarian aid" for the students who broke into and occupied a building on campus in April, is teaching a class in that same building this fall – a class which all undergraduates are required to take in order to receive a diploma. Yesterday, the Portland, Maine, city council voted to divest from companies doing business with Israel.

All these developments are painful, frustrating, and dispiriting. Where is the justice?

While there are no easy solutions, we must chase after tzedek.

“Tzedek tzedek tirdofe – Tzedek, tzedek shall you pursue.” (Devarim 16:20).

Tzedek is most often translated as “justice.” I believe justice doesn’t do justice to the word “tzedek.”

Tzedek means to act honestly, uprightly, and charitably to fill a void. An act of tzedek may be to punish the criminal or speak and deal honestly or to give to the needy. “Give a little tzedakah!”

The Torah repeats the word “tzedek” because there are many types of injustice that require our attention. Martin Luther King, Jr. said, “Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere.” There are many wrongs that need righting, and one size of “justice” does not resolve all of them.

It is not within our power to set everything right, but that doesn’t mean there is nothing for us to do. Rav Kook, whose yahrzeit is today (3 Elul), noted:

“The pure and righteous do not complain about wickedness: they increase righteousness. They do not complain about heresy: they increase faith. They do not complain about ignorance: they increase wisdom.” (Arpilai Tohar, pp. 27–28)

We cannot sit back and let injustice get the better of us. We respond with acts of goodness, kindness, justice, and we speak up loudly for Israel and our community. That is Tzedek.

The Torah commands us to pursue tzedek with the word “tirdofe,” which literally means to run or chase. Pursuing tzedek by acting honestly, justly, and generously is a race. When it comes to running, people run at different paces and can run for different distances. The pursuit of tzedek is a different “race” for each issue and each person. We may not finish. What is important, though, is for each of us to get in the race. We cannot sit on the sidelines.

There is another type of tzedek to pursue.

Tzedek is the root for tzaddik, the righteous or accomplished individual. “Tzedek tzedek tirdofe” requires of us each to be the best we can be and seek out the tzaddik in ourselves and others. There’s no guarantee we’ll “catch” that tzaddik, but we need to try.

Rabbi Shlomo Zalman Auerbach was a great Torah scholar and posek. He had an amazingly warm and kind personality which endeared him to all. When he would see a car drive by on Shabbat, which, being Israel, was very likely being driven by a Jew, would shout out, “Mazal tov!” Why? He figured that a Jew driving must be heading to the hospital for a good reason like the birth of a child.

Reb Shlomo Zalman was fulfilling the mitzvah of “tzedek tzedek tirdofe,” chasing after the righteousness in others. We should do the same and seek the righteousness within and within others.

There is a lot of injustice surrounding us, and tzedek to pursue everywhere. The Torah doesn’t tell us to catch justice; we are commanded to pursue it and seek it even if we cannot achieve it. As we begin the month of Elul, it’s time for each of us to open our eyes, our minds, and our hearts, put on our “tzedek shoes,” and join the race for justice, honesty, integrity, charity, aspiring for righteousness and seeing it in others.

The race is on. On your mark, get set, go!

Hostages Murdered, a Torah Dedicated, Rosh Chodesh Elul & Displaying Jewish Pride

On Rosh Chodesh Elul, we heard the first shofar blasts setting the tone for this month of getting into a High Holiday mindset. It’s a time for introspection, improvement, and preparing to move forward.

What is our avodah at this time? What should our Jewish response be?

It has been an unprecedented year. Eleven months later, we are still living with the effects of October 7. Sometimes, it feels like nothing changes. Often, I am literally reading the same headlines day in and day out – “Israel bombs Lebanon,” “Hezbollah fires rockets at northern Israel,” “Hostage negotiations reach critical phase,” and “Protestors on campus support Hamas, block Jewish students.” There is, of course, good news as well. Babies have been born, couples get married, and Israel won more medals than ever at the Olympics.

As we reach the end of one year and the start of another, we must be more vigilant in showing and living our Jewish identities.

On Sunday morning, we woke up to the devastating news that six Israeli hostages were murdered by Hamas just days before IDF troops reached them. 

Ori Danino, age 25
Carmel Gat, age 40
Hersh Goldberg-Polin, age 23
Alexander Lobanov, age 32
Almog Sarusi, age 27
Eden Yerushalmi, age 24

For 331 days, we had prayed and demanded their safe return together with all the hostages. Every day, we mention their names, tell their stories, and watch their families heroically struggle for their release. In particular, the story of Hersh Goldberg-Polin, an American citizen, has resonated deeply. Hersh became the face of all the hostages for many in the US as his parents, Rachel Goldberg and Jon Polin, crisscrossed the globe and spoke to anyone and everyone who would listen in a powerful and dignified manner. (I met with them at the end of October in the beginning of their crusade.)

On Sunday morning, so many of us felt broken and shattered.

On Sunday morning, hundreds celebrated the completion of a new Torah dedicated by the Linsenbaum family. It was a joyous affair as the Torah was danced through the streets. There was music and singing. There were flags for the children. We had Korn’s Torah Truck, the experts in Torah dedication accoutrements. Police kept the streets clear of traffic as the entire procession followed the new Torah to be greeted by the other Torahs in the Shul.

As the procession neared the synagogue. I saw an older member out for a walk. She is a Holocaust survivor. I ran over to watch some of the festivities with her, and I experienced a powerful moment of Jewish eternity: Standing with a survivor of the Shoah on the day six hostages were murdered, we are proudly and publicly celebrating a new Torah’s arrival in the streets surrounded by men, women, and children of all ages.

We all needed that moment.

How do we make the moment last?

The essence of the Torah dedication was proudly and joyously living and celebrating our Jewish identities. I suggest we strengthen our observance of mitzvot that express our Jewish identities and elevate our celebration of Judaism. Three mitzvot we can focus on are: mezuzah, tefillin, and Shabbat candles.

The Kitzur Shulchan Aruch (128) states: “Pious men are accustomed to examine their tefillin and mezuzot during this month; and wherever any defect may be found in other mitzvot, to repair it.” Shouldn’t we worry about our mezuzot and tefillin year-round? Why do we check them specifically during Elul? The answer is that the mezuzah and tefillin are symbols to the outside of Jewish identity and pride. Each year, as Rosh Hashanah approaches, we are encouraged to examine the state of our Jewish pride and make any repairs needed.

Now is the time to make sure the mezuzot in our homes are where they should be. Maybe we want a bigger mezuzah case outside to amplify our Jewish pride. It is also an appropriate time to make sure to have all the mezuzot needed for each doorway. If you need any, let me know, and we’ll make sure you have what you need.

Tefillin present a more personal opportunity to demonstrate Jewish identity and pride. Now is a good time to make sure the tefillin are kosher. Maybe they need to be fixed or adjusted. Maybe it’s time for a new pair. If you don’t have and want, let me know, and we’ll make sure you have what you need.

I believe lighting Shabbat candles is a mitzvah that can be compared to tefillin. They, too, are a symbol of Jewish identity, pride, and celebration. Shabbat is considered a sign of Jewish belief and observance. Lighting Shabbat candles bring that light into our homes. Candle lighting can be a family moment, and a chance to pray for so many things. We need more of the beauty contained in these lights in our homes and in our lives. Shabbat candles are easier than mezuzot or tefillin, but…If you don’t have and want, let me know, and we’ll make sure you have what you need.

Mezuzah, tefillin, and Shabbat candles are mitzvot that demonstrate Jewish pride and joy. We need more of these in our lives, and we can share these mitzvot with others.

Rachel Goldberg-Polin in her eulogy for Hersh asked for the strength to “help us rise again.” Even during dark moments, we look ahead to, once again, experiencing the light and the joy we know is ahead.

It is customary during Elul to start wishing each other a “shana tova,” a happy, healthy, sweet New Year. There is another traditional expression for the month of Elul”

Tichle shana v’kileloteha, tacheil shana u’virchoteha – May this year and its curses end so that a New Year with its blessings may begin.”