Five-Second Decisions & Why I’m Not a Kohein

Are you familiar with the “5-second rule?”

I always thought it meant that if food – or a child’s pacifier – falls to the ground, it’s still clean if it is there for less than five seconds.

There is another 5-second rule.

Mel Robbins, the successful podcast host, wrote a bestseller entitled The 5 Second Rule. She shares how in her early 40s, she was at a low point in her life, which led to a daily struggle to get out of bed. She would habitually hit the snooze button to avoid confronting her problems. One night, she saw a rocket launch countdown in a commercial and was inspired to use that same method to propel herself out of bed. The next morning, instead of hitting the snooze button, she counted down “5-4-3-2-1” and got out of bed. She said, “The moment you have an impulse to act on a goal, you’ve got to move within 5 seconds, or your brain will kill it. You’ll come up with an excuse, you’ll feel anxious or afraid. It’s that simple, you’ve got to move within 5 seconds, or you won’t do it.”

We are only Jews because of a quick decision: “Na’aseh v’nishma.”

Our Sages teach that God offered the Torah to other nations, who didn’t like what they heard and declined the offer. When God offered the Torah to the Jews, they immediately responded, “Naaseh v’nishma – We will do and then we will listen.” Essentially, they accepted what was in the Torah without knowing the details. Had we declined the offer or hemmed and hawed, history would have been different. Nishma before na’aseh - wanting to know more before just doing it - would have led to a different outcome. The Talmud (Shabbat 88a) describes this strategy as a secret held by the angels that somehow the Jews figured out.

There are times when we need to be decisive and act fast. The Jews’ responding quickly without overthinking made all the difference.

How often do we feel a spark of inspiration to do something good or important, but overthinking kills it? You might hear of someone sitting shiva. You think, “I should go.” But then you start to wonder: “What if I don’t know what to say? What if they’re already surrounded by people? What if it’ll be awkward?” So, you push it off and never go.

Or you might be in shul davening (and not talking!) and suddenly feel the impulse strikes you to learn more or be more spiritual. But then you start rationalizing: “When will I have time? What if I can’t keep it up?” And the moment of motivation is lost…

Rabbi Joseph Soloveitchik explains that people have two levels of intellect that sometimes compete (Rav Soloveitchik on the Chumash, p.216-217):

“…Man’s pragmatic intellect, which weighs pros and cons, is actually of subordinate stature in man’s personality, it is called ratzon tachton, the lower, practical will. The masters of Kabbalah taught that it is not man’s rationality but his ratzon elyon, higher will, which constitutes the singular endowment intellect. It is in the center of the spiritual personality and constitutes man’s real identity. The major decisions of man’s life are made spontaneously and suddenly, in response to an aboriginal command from within, and are not necessarily dictated by external considerations or conditions, not necessarily affected by pragmatic considerations…Decisions of faith, of marriage, choice of profession, solutions to financial problems, acts of military genius, and most pivotal resolutions in life are reached intuitively, without addressing any inquiries to the intellect. We are suddenly struck by an incisive insight and with a sense of direction. Later on, the practical intellect is called upon to justify the decision, to remove inconsistencies and to plan implementation.”

Na’aseh v’nishma was the Jewish people’s spiritual 5-second decision.

Another split-second decision is why I am, sadly, not a Kohein.

As a 20-year-old yeshivah student, Rabbi Shimon Schwab, who became leader of the German Jewish community in Washington Heights, visited the Chofetz Chaim in Radin and requested a blessing. The Rabbi asked Rabbi Schwab whether he was a Kohein or Levi. When Rabbi Schwab replied that he was neither, the Chofetz Chaim described how wonderful it will be to be a Kohein or Levi when the Temple will be rebuilt and the service there restored. Then he said: “Perhaps you have heard — I’m a Kohein. Tell me, why aren’t you a Kohein?”

Rabbi Schwab was puzzled by the question and responded, “Because my father is not a Kohein,” he replied. “And why isn’t your father a Kohein?” the Chofetz Chaim probed further. Rabbi Schwab realized the elderly sage was trying to make a point.

“I’ll tell you why,” the Chafetz Chaim went on. “Because 3,000 years ago, at the episode of the Golden Calf, your ancestors didn’t come running when Moshe called out, ‘Mi L’Hashem elai - Whoever is for God, follow me!’ My grandfather and the other members of the tribe of Levi responded to Moshe’s call. Now take this lesson to heart. In every person’s life, there is a moment when a call goes forth to him. When you hear that call, make sure that you come running!”

The 5-second rule worked out well for the Jews in receiving the Torah and for the Chofetz Chaim and the tribe of Levi. We each have situations when we will have a terrific opportunity to grab or to pass up. In those moments, the question isn’t whether we understand every step ahead or whether we feel fully prepared. The question is will we act, or will we hesitate? Will we take advantage of the chance to help, go, or grow or wait till a “next time” which may never come to pass?

We know the winning strategy: 5-4-3-2-1.

Putting on the Crown

 

“Oylem haba iz a gute zakh. Lernen Toyre iz a beser zakh.”

These Yiddish song lyrics mean: “The World to Come is a good thing but learning Torah is a better thing.” Torah is better than the World to Come?!? That sounds REALLY good!

As we celebrate the 3,337^th anniversary of receiving the Torah at Sinai, it’s an appropriate time to remind ourselves what is so special about Torah.

Torah is the fuel that drives the engine of Jewish life.

עֵץ־חַיִּים הִיא לַמַּחֲזִיקִים בָּהּ וְתֹמְכֶיהָ מְאֻשָּׁר׃

“The Torah is a Tree of Life for all who grasp it, and whoever holds on to her is happy.” (Mishlei 3:18)

I think this is why the practice developed to venerate the Torah scroll so much. People want to draw near and kiss the Torah. In Sephardic communities, the women wave reverently as the Torah is carried through the Shul. It is built into our spiritual DNA that we are stronger, more connected to God, and more alive with Torah.

Torah, literally, makes the world go round.

Rabbi Chaim of Volozhin, the primary disciple of the Vilna Gaon, taught (Nefesh HaChaim 4:11) that, “without a doubt whatsoever,” if there would be a moment in which Torah would not be studied somewhere in the world, the world would revert to nothingness. To make sure this would not happen, in the Volozhin Yeshiva, they ensured that someone was on call to study Torah 24 hours a day every single day. When Yom Kippur ended, someone would stay behind to study while everyone else ate, and he would only eat when the next person on call came back.

For those less mystically inclined, the lack of Jewish learning is a major factor in the weakening of Jewish identity and participation. Recent surveys have shown that maybe 45% Jews engage in reading Jewish sources – even news or culture. Without Jewish knowledge anchoring one’s Jewish commitment, there is less of a reason to participate in organized Jewish life. There is not enough holding on to that Tree of Life to keep the communal Jewish passion and spirit going. We need Torah!

Torah connects the generations, and can, literally, make the past come alive.

Here is how Rabbi Joseph Soloveitchik describes his Torah study experience:

“When I sit down to learn, I immediately find myself in the presence of a group of devoted sages, learned in tradition and values. The relationship between us is personal. The Rambam is on my right, Rabbeinu Tam is on my left. Rashi sits at the head of the table and makes clarifications to which Rabbeinu Tam objects. The Rambam makes a ruling and the Raavad challenges it. All of them are in my little room, sitting around my table. They look at me with affection, play with me through logic and Gemara, encouraging and strengthening me. Learning Torah is not just a didactic exercise, not just a formal, technical preoccupation that involves exchange of information and inventive thinking. Learning Torah is an unparalleled experience of friendship through many generations, of connection between spirits and unity between souls of different eras. Those that passed on their Torah wisdom and those that receive it are united in the same historic sanctuary of ideas.”

Our Torah study may not be as intense as the Rav’s, but when we study Torah, we bring the past into the present so as to ensure the Jewish future.

Torah has no limits.

There is no such thing as learning too much, and there is no such thing as learning too little.

“Rabbi Yocḥanan says in the name of Rabbi Shimon ben Yocḥai: Even if a person only recited the Shema in the morning and in the evening, he has fulfilled the mitzvah of studying Torah all day and night…Rava says: It is a mitzva to tell people this teaching…as they will realize that if merely reciting the Shema leads to such a great reward, all the more so how great is the reward of those who study Torah all day and night.” (Menachot 99b)

Not all the Sages were pleased with Rabbi Yochanan endorsing a shortcut to fulfill the mitzvah of Torah study. People will slack off and learn little. Rava felt different. Teach everyone to start somewhere and learn something. Not ready for Daf Yomi? Read one verse a day. Study one law a day. The wisdom gained may be finite, but the spiritual value is infinite.

Torah is meant to be shared.

“Shammai used to say: Make your study of the Torah keva.” (Avot 1:15) What does keva mean? The simple explanation is one should study regularly. In Avot D’Rabbi Natan (13:2), it says that keva means that what you study, you should teach others. That is how Torah becomes permanent.

Studying means sharing, and everyone must share. You don’t need to be a Torah scholar. As Rabbi Menachem Mendel Schneerson, the Lubavitcher Rebbe, was known to say, “Once you know, aleph, you must teach aleph.” We all have, at least, that much to pass on to others. We can talk about Torah and Judaism with our children, family, and friends. We can share a Dvar Torah at the Shabbos table or raise a Jewish question. Torah talk need not be a specific moment. It can be part of a conversation.

Torah is accessible to all.

Rambam teaches (Talmud Torah 3:1): “The Keter Torah, crown of Torah, is set aside, waiting, and ready for each Jew…Whoever desires may come and take it.”

On Shavuot, we celebrate the powerful role the Torah plays spiritually, religiously, emotionally, educationally, traditionally and socially in our lives. The holiday encourages us to study more Torah and rejoice in learning and living Torah. We should put on the crown of Torah. Maybe literally…

I had the chance to run a Beginner Service for many years. It attracted all kinds of seekers – including some who were attending a traditional Shabbat service for the first time. One such attendee was honored with gelilah, to wrap up the Torah after it was lifted following the reading. It was obviously a new experience, and it can be tricky even for experienced worshippers. You need to roll the Torah, affix the belt, and put on the cover – all the while people are waiting for you to finish.

The gabbai was trying to be helpful and assisted him with tying the belt around the scroll and then helped him place the velvet cover over the Torah and its handles. There was one more item to place on the Torah – the ornate sterling silver crown. The gentleman was handed the crown, and he stood there just holding it in his hands, not knowing exactly where to place it. People in the congregation started to call out, “Just put it on. Put it on!”

So that’s what he did. He took the beautiful silver crown, and he carefully placed it on his own head!

It’s cute. But it’s also a very deep lesson. We SHOULD put on the crown of Torah and make Torah more relevant in our lives and the lives of those around us.

This Shavuot let’s put on the crown of Torah. Let’s find ways to study it more ourselves, share it with our children and raise the level of Jewish discourse with those we encounter.

The Bearing of Bad News

How do we handle bad news?

Keep quiet? Face it? Grin and bear it?

This is a week of bad news. The horrific murder of Yaron Lischinsky and Sarah Milgrim has left us reeling and on edge. The war in Israel continues, and two IDF soldiers were killed in action this week. Just when we think we can unwind and relax with the arrival of Shabbat, we read the tochecha, the series of curses of how bad things will get when we don’t live up to our potential. We can’t seem to catch a break!

Nobody wants to be the bearer of bad news, and the custom developed in many communities to avoid calling up someone to the Torah for the aliya of the tochecha. Who wants their name associated with punishment and curses? Some shuls send someone up without calling him up by name. Sometimes, the reader gets the aliya or the rabbi takes the hit. There is even historical precedent of congregations simply skipping the Torah reading the week of the curses.

Then there’s the outsourcing option.

Back in the “old country,” the members of a certain shul were all terrified of being called up for the aliya of the tochecha. What to do? They called a board meeting and decided that the best course of action to take was to hire someone. Tracking down an individual who would take the ‘dreaded’ aliya proved to be somewhat harder than expected, but, in the end, a candidate was found and engaged.

On the Shabbat of the tochecha, the gabbai looked around for the contracted individual, but he was nowhere to be found. “Perhaps he’s simply late,” suggested one of the members. “Let’s wait a few minutes for him.” They sat for about a quarter of an hour, getting more and more impatient by the minute. After all, an agreement was made. Money had been paid. Where was he?

Thankfully, before things got out of hand, the contracted individual rushed in breathless. Immediately, a few members demanded to know the reason for his tardiness. The individual calmly turned to the angry group, and replied, “I was davening in the shul down the block. Do you actually think I can make a living from only one tochecha…”

The most widespread custom is to read the tochecha in a soft voice. While careful that all the words be heard, the reader takes it down a notch. Who wants to loudly and clearly hear all the bad news? Furthermore, some commentators warn, we may invite the ayin ha-ra (evil eye) and make it even worse for ourselves.

I believe someone can be called up to the Torah for the tochecha by name – and the curses may even be read in a regular voice. The only way to respond to the curses is to confront them and overcome them.

Rabbi Yehuda Yekusiel Halberstam, the Sanz-Klausenberg Rebbe, was a heroic figure. He survived the Holocaust, inspiring many along the way, while his wife and 11 children were murdered. Afterwards, he worked to reconnect the survivors with Judaism in the Displaced Persons camps before moving to America and reestablishing his Chasidic court in Brooklyn. The Rebbe remarried and had 7 more children. In 1960, he moved to Netanya and established Laniado Hospital there.

 

Rabbi Shlomo Riskin describes davening with the Rebbe in the summer of 1953. It was Parshat Ki Tavo, which also has a section of terrible curses. The Torah reader began reading the tochecha quietly. Suddenly, almost inaudibly, the Yiddish word “hecher” (louder) came from the Rebbe’s direction at the eastern wall of the synagogue. The reader stopped, apparently wondering if he had heard the Rebbe correctly, but ultimately decided that he must have heard incorrectly. So, he continued reading quietly.

 

The Klausenberger Rebbe then banged on the table and shouted: “I said Hecher! Louder! Let the Master of the Universe hear! We have nothing to be afraid of. We have already received all of the curses - and more! Let the Almighty hear and let Him understand that the time has come to send the blessings!” The ba’al koreh then began to read the tochecha loudly and clearly.

 

The Jewish people are all too familiar with curses. We are all too familiar with the curses of October 7 and the past 18 months. We experienced curses this week. It is not only the Klausenberger Rebbe and his generation that can bear to hear the curses. We can bear the bad news as well, and we, too, will persevere and even thrive.

 

Rabbi Joseph Soloveitchik notes that the tochecha concludes with notes of hope and continuity. In Bechukotai, they end with the verse, “I will remember you…” The curses of Ki Tavo are followed by the words “Atem nitzavim ha-yom kulchem – You are all still standing today…” There’s light at the end of the tunnel.

 

The curses are not the end of the story. The covenant remains. Israel remains. The Jewish people remain. The ability to transcend, transform, and renew exists. We just need to see that light through the darkness and recognize it’s up to us to carry on.

Turning the Page on Lag B'Omer

Happy Lag B’Omer!

What is Lag B’Omer?

Lag B’Omer, the 33^rd day of the Omer, is a festive day on the Jewish calendar. For many, it marks the end of the subdued behavior and no haircuts or shaving of the Omer period. It is celebrated with outings on which children play outdoors – traditionally with bows and arrows, bonfires, parades and other joyous events. Many people travel to visit the resting place in Meron in northern Israel of the great sage and mystic Rabbi Shimon bar Yochai. (See HERE for details and images of last night’s festivities.)

Say what???

Where does all this come from? Why the joy? Why the bonfires? Why anything on a day which is not mentioned ANYWHERE in the Talmud or early Jewish sources?

One reason for the holiday is that there is a tradition that Rabbi Akiva’s students, who died during the Omer period, stopped dying on the 33^rd day of the Omer. If we are sad during the Omer period due to our continuing grief over the loss of all the Torah of Rabbi Akiva’s students, then the cessation of their dying is a reprieve from that grief. The day became memorialized as a day of relief and celebration.

A second source for Lag B’Omer being a happier day is based on a number of Kabbalistic explanations that find spiritual significance in the 33^rd day of the Omer. Since the day is spiritually elevated, it deserves to be celebrated. The most well-known of these spiritual reasons is the tradition that Lag B’Omer is the yahrzeit of Rabbi Shimon bar Yochai, whose teachings form the basis for the Zohar, the primary book of Jewish mysticism. On this yahrzeit, we celebrate the “light” of the Torah that Rabbi Shimon revealed.

This is all very nice, and I enjoy a bonfire just as much as the next person, but do these reasons rate a holiday? I am not alone in my skepticism. Not everyone is so enthusiastic about Lag B’Omer.

Rabbi Moshe Sofer (1762-1835, Hungary) questions whether it is permissible to establish a new holiday that is not based on any type of miracle. Rabbi Yosef Shaul Nathanson (1808-1875, Poland) also objects to the celebration on similar grounds. He notes that the traditional way to commemorate a yahrtzeit is to fast and not to celebrate. He also questions the practice of making bonfires which burn clothing as it seems like a violation of bal tashchit, it’s wasteful.

So where does that leave us? What is the message of Lag B’Omer?

The two major sources for celebrating Lag B’Omer are the end of Rabbi Akiva’s students dying and Rabbi Shimon bar Yochai’s passing. Both episodes teach an important lesson of continuity. 

How did the passing of Rabbi Shimon bar Yochai impact his students? They rededicated themselves to spreading his teaching. What did Rabbi Akiva do after losing his students? He immediately taught new ones. 

Lag B’Omer is the holiday of moving forward.

This may be why the day revolves around children. The children have outings, and the young children get their first haircuts. On Lag B’Omer, we look forward to tomorrow.

There has been a lot of hoping for tomorrow during the past 18 months.

We often speak or hear about moving from the horrors of October 7 to the hope, resilience, and strength of October 8. There are so many heroes and so much inspiration. For those of us outside Israel or not directly impacted, it may sometimes seem abstract. But these are real people with real pain who are able to pivot to what comes next – and inspire us to do the same.

This week, Tzeela Gez, a 30-year-old pregnant mother of three children, was murdered while driving with her husband to give birth to their fourth child. Her husband, Hananel, was lightly wounded. The baby was delivered and is, thank God, recovering. Hananel wrote a message on Thursday that was widely disseminated:

“Today is a sad day. Last night, my wife was murdered. We were on our way to the hospital to give birth to our fourth child. Obviously, I am broken. This is natural. But I thank God that I am alive, and I will be strong in order to continue to be a light to the world. Because we will never let them break us. I am very, very sad. But I will continue to fight for the welfare of our people… we will survive, succeed, and prosper.”

Today is Lag B’Omer, the holiday of tomorrows.

This may not fully answer the question of why we have Lag B’Omer, but it should give us all hope and a reason to celebrate.

The Yiddishe Momme

A story is told about the mother of the first Jewish President who receives a call inviting her to fly on Air Force One. She hangs up the phone, and her friend asks, “Who was that?” She replies, “You know my son the doctor? That was his brother.”

The “Yiddishe Momme,” the Jewish Mother. It’s a joke. It’s a song. It’s a stereotype. It’s from the Torah.

Jack Yellen and Lew Pollack wrote the song entitled “My Yiddishe Momme” that was first recorded by Willie Howard and made famous by Sophie Tucker and later the Barry Sisters. Tucker began singing “My Yiddishe Momme” in 1925, after the death of her own mother, and it became a Top 5 hit in 1928. (Did you know they ranked the top hits back then??) In the song, the mother symbolizes a sense of nostalgia for the "old world", as well as guilt for having left it behind in assimilating into American society. This Yiddishe Momme has a warm, familiar feel. She engenders devotion, love, and loyalty. Nobody can say no to the Yiddishe Momme. She may even be just a little overbearing.

The classic “Yiddishe Momme” morphed into “The Jewish Mother,” a stereotype that conjures up a middle-aged woman with a nasal New York accent who either sweats over a steaming pot of matzah ball soup while screaming at her children or, in an updated version, she sits poolside in Florida guilt-tripping her grown children into calling her more often. The Jewish Mother wants her daughter to marry a Jewish doctor and her son to love her best of all. She loves her children fiercely, but man, does she nag.

The Yiddishe Momme has Torah roots. Judaism realizes that we have a special connection with our mothers, who play a unique role.

אִישׁ אִמּוֹ וְאָבִיו תִּירָאוּ וְאֶת־שַׁבְּתֹתַי תִּשְׁמֹרוּ אֲנִי ה' אֱ-לֹהֵיכֶם׃

You shall each revere your mother and your father, and keep My sabbaths: I am the Lord, your God. (Vayikra 19:3)

Rashi contrasts this verse with Shemot 20:12 where one of the Ten Commandments is “Honor your father and mother.” Why does the command to honor parents begin with the father, while the mitzvah to revere parents starts with the mother?

Rashi explains that, classically, the father was the “master of the house” and more often played the role of stern disciplinarian. The child may feel a little distant from the father and less willing to honor him. Therefore, the Torah opens the commandment to honor parents with the father: Honor your parents – including and especially your father from whom you may feel distant. When it comes to revering parents, the closer relationship with the classically gentler, tender mother might preclude showing enough reverence. Accordingly, the Torah begins the command to revere with the mother.

The Torah realized that children are likely to have a warmer, more sentimental relationship with the Yiddishe Momme.

Rabbi Joseph Soloveitchik noted that people are mistaken in thinking that we only have one tradition from our fathers. The verse says (Mishlei 1:8), “Hear, my son, the instruction of your father, and forsake not the Torah of your mother.” What is the difference between the instruction of a father and the Torah of a mother?

Traditionally in Judaism, the father taught the texts, the laws, and the instructions to his children. The mother had a different role. She taught her children that Judaism is more than strict compliance with the laws. The Rav said about his own mother: “She taught me that there is a flavor, a scent and a warmth to mitzvot. I learned from her the most important thing in life – to feel the presence of the Almighty and the gentle pressure of His hand resting on my frail shoulder…The laws of Shabbat were passed on to me by my father. The Shabbat as a living entity, a queen, was revealed to me by my mother; it is part of ‘the Torah of your mother’.” (“A Tribute to the Rebbetzin of Talne,” Tradition 17:2)

Judaism is a tradition which requires the input, influence, and spirit of both parents, but there is something especial that comes from our mothers. Maybe that’s why Judaism is matrilineal, and the religion is determined by the mother.

The Yiddishe Momme is more than a joke, a song, or a stereotype. She represents the secret weapon in ensuring Jewish thriving. Living by the “Torah of our mothers” and sharing a warm, beautiful, and vibrant Judaism with all around us would be a great gift to all the moms out there.

Happy Mother’s Day!

I Mourn Among the Joyful & Turn the Beat Around

This week, ahead of Yom Ha’atzmaut, two images of the handwritten diary of David Ben-Gurion from the evening of May 14, 1948 were released. The original diary has not yet been located, but copies exist. The journal is a fascinating insight into the mindset of one of Israel’s founders in “real time” as Israel was created.

Ben-Gurion is far from jubilant:

“We approved the text of the Declaration of Independence. Independence declared at 4 p.m. Across the land, there is joy and profound happiness, and again I mourn among the joyful, as on November 29…”

Ben-Gurion cannot celebrate Israel’s momentous milestones. Similar to his feeling on May 14, 1948, he recalls his reaction to November 29, 1947, when the United Nations approved the Partition Plan that called for a Jewish State to be created in Israel once the British Mandate ended 6 months following. That night, there was rejoicing in the streets of Tel Aviv and throughout the Jewish world. Ben-Gurion, however, could not join in the joy of that night or even after declaring Israel’s independence. As Eitan Donitz, CEO of the Ben-Gurion Heritage Institute, put it, “While the country celebrates, he is dealing with the question of the existence of the young state and is very anxious about it.”

It’s understandable.

From its birth as a state and until today, Israel’s existence is marked by joy and pain, celebration and solemnity, confidence and trepidation. We experienced this range of reactions this week in the transition from Yom Hazikaron to Yom Ha’atzmaut and have especially felt this whirlwind of emotions more viscerally since October 7.

How do we rejoice while feeling such contradictory emotions? Jews are very good at knowing how to “turn the beat around.” We are good at accentuating the positive. We can be grateful even when we are lacking and can celebrate even when there is also reason to mourn. It’s why God chose us.

The Talmud (Berachot 20b) recounts a conversation between God and the angels. The angels ask how God can favor the Jews if God is described as “showing no favor and taking no bribe” (Devarim 10:17). God responds:

“How can I not show favor to Israel? I wrote for them in the Torah: ‘And you shall eat and be satisfied and bless the Lord your God’ (Deuteronomy 8:10), meaning that there is no obligation to bless the Lord until one is fully satiated. Yet Jews are exacting with themselves to recite Grace after Meals even if they have eaten a smaller amount of food that is only the size of an olive or an egg. Since they go beyond the requirements of the law, they are worthy of My favor.”

God loves us because we thank God for food even when we might still be hungry. We are grateful for what we have even when we don’t have all we want or need. We can rejoice even when the situation is not completely jubilant. We know how to serve God even when things are not perfect. We know how to make the most out of an imperfect world.

Ben-Gurion mourned among the joyful. He was realistic. He bore the heavy responsibility of leadership of a newborn country surrounded by enemies. At the same time, we rejoice. We know how to be grateful for what we have however imperfect it may be. We can celebrate the miracles we experience even with dark clouds surrounding us.

We turn the beat around every Friday night.

There is a widespread custom to change the melody of “Lecha Dodi” midway though the song. There are numerous variations of the custom, but the change involves a shift from a somber, slower tune in the beginning to something festive and joyous for the conclusion of the prayer.

Why? As with many Jewish customs, there are a variety of answers. The renowned musicologist Velvel Pasternak said, “I spent a year researching this … got all kinds of explanations. The only one that was plausible was given to me by the Pittsburgher Rebbe of blessed memory. He said in Yiddish: ‘Shoyn genug genidzet mit dem ershtn nigun - they got tired of the first tune.’ This is most probably the correct reason.”

Classic.

I believe this practice is just one more expression of our ability to “turn the beat around.” God loves us. God chose us because of our ability to be grateful despite what is lacking and to rejoice despite there being reason to mourn. Knowing how to do this gives us the confidence to keep praying, striving, and fighting for a time when we have all we need and only have reason to rejoice.

Yom HaShoah Song Selection & Understanding the Week Ahead

The post-Pesach “Yom”s” are a lot.

Just days after Pesach ends, we observe Yom HaShoah. Just one week later, we commemorate Yom Hazikaron and celebrate Yom Ha’atzmaut. First, we try to properly capture the magnitude of the Holocaust – the trauma, horror, and heroism. Then, in what is very different than our American experience, Israel transitions in a mere 24 hours from somberly remembering those killed establishing and defending the State to joyously celebrating her independence. Talk about a busy week!

Each year, I try to find a new insight, a different emotional or spiritual approach to a week of sadness, anger, inspiration, memory, and exultation. This year, I found meaning in the song selection of the Communal Yom HaShoah Commemoration.

The ceremony featured a very familiar structure. There is a candle lighting ceremony by survivors and descendants of survivors. A cantor chants an emotional Memorial Prayer and Tehillim is recited. Of course, the children sing. A choir is key to any commemoration. Music is a powerful tool for remembrance. Plus, the participating children develop a deeper appreciation of the importance of participating in Shoah remembrance. (It also means more people attend.)

As I listened to the songs sung, I felt a range of emotions. First, there was sadness and longing. The opening song was a Yiddish song recounting the past. We were taken back to the Old Country as the horrors of the Holocaust shocked the Jews from their everyday lives. Next was “Ani Ma’amin, which recalled the many who still believed in redemption even as they were about to be murdered. While a testament of faith, those words were, ultimately, a desperate, final, doomed plea.

The next songs transitioned to faith. The choir sang Shlomo Carlebach’s “Gam Ki Eilech” based on Psalm 23. The beautiful melody elevated the classic declaration: “Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I shall fear no evil, because You are with me.” For You are with me. We seek comfort and security in the knowledge that God accompanies us even in dark times. God’s presence was also the theme of the next song. It was another “Ani Ma’amin,” but not the one about Moshiach. The words to the lovely tune sung by Dveykus were from Rambam’s first declaration of faith: “I believe with perfect faith that the Creator creates and rules all creatures; and that God alone made, makes, and will make all things.” God is in charge – past, present, and future. We are no longer oppressed and doomed with nothing to look forward to except the Messianic era. We regain our “faith footing” and find comfort in God’s omnipresence and omnipotence. God runs the world.

The children concluded their performance with a version of “Im Eshkacheich Yerushalayim.” No matter what, we carry with us a vision of Jerusalem.

The songs captured the Yom HaShoah, Yom Hazikaron, Yom Ha’atzmaut emotional roller coaster. From darkness and desperation to comfort and confidence to restoration and redemption.

Most importantly, the Yom HaShoah commemoration featured a survivor sharing his story. Especially as the number of survivors declines, we must take advantage of every opportunity we can to listen to them in person. Paul Gross was born in 1937 in Hungary. He was 7 years-old when the Jews were rounded up and put on a train. Luckily, his train did not go to Auschwitz. He and his family were taken first to a makeshift camp in Austria before they ended up in Theresienstadt until liberation.

Mr. Gross recounted that when the Jews were being marched to the train, he imagined he was soldier. All the Jews were wearing yellow stars, and he viewed his as a “badge of honor,” a military insignia, and he marched swinging his hands back and forth. Despite the horrors he faced, he remembered the Jewish pride he felt.

On one lapel, Mr. Gross was wearing the yellow “Jude” star that he had worn 80 years ago. On the other, he wore the IDF pin he wore as an Israeli soldier 10 years later. A Holocaust testimony spanning from darkness to determination and, ultimately, defense of the Jewish homeland.

In Parshat Shemini, we read of the tragic death of Aharon’s two sons. Nadav and Avihu. Afterwards, Aharon responds twice. The first is through silence – “Vayidom Aharon.” In the second response, Aharon pushes back against Moshe’s accusation that the Kohanim made a mistake. Aharon progresses from passive acceptance to active engagement. These two responses are two different ways we respond to tragedy. Sometimes, we are silent. We don’t know what to do. Other times, we take a stand. We question, we challenge, or maybe we fight.

During the week of Yom HaShoah through Yom Ha’atzmaut, we go through both responses. We are silent, lost, bewildered, sad and despondent, and then we are transformed through the actions and heroism that created the State of Israel.

On Wednesday night, I experienced this journey through the songs of Jewish children. It’s the Jewish journey past, present, and future. We must encounter the horrors of the Shoah to fortify ourselves against the enemies of today, to feel that God is always with us, and that our future is in Jerusalem.

Paul Gross concluded his remarks with two powerful declarations:

“Netzach Yisrael lo yeshakeir – The glory of Israel endures forever.” (1 Shmuel 15:29)

“Am Yisrael Chai!”