The "Ish" in Each of Us

What do you think of when you hear the word “wrestling?”

I must confess that I associate wrestling with the entertainment variety.  That’s the one that everyone says is “fake” or entertainment.  I grew up with the World Wrestling Federation and personalities like Hulk Hogan and Sgt. Slaughter.  I don’t follow the “sport” today, but I remember some exciting moments (like at the end of this video!). 

Parshat Vayishlach tells the story of the first wrestling match in history, the “main event” between Yaakov (Jacob) and…

With whom exactly is Yaakov wrestling?

"Va-yivateir Yaakov levado va-yei’aveik ish imo – Jacob remained alone, and a man wrestled with him until daybreak.” (Bereishit 32:25)

Who was this ish?

Rabbi Ari Kahn, a senior lecturer at Bar-Ilan University, addresses this and a number of other issues in this story.  One answer is that Yaakov fought against the angel of Esav.  Another suggestion is that Yaakov was fighting against himself.  If Yaakov was alone, thought, with whom was he wrestling?  Why would a sane person wrestle with himself?

Rabbi Kahn explains that we find another reference to another “ish,” a man that is less enigmatic in an earlier verse:

The man (ish) prospered exceedingly and he possessed great herds and maids and servants and camels and donkeys. (Bereishit 30:43)

This “ish” is clearly Yaakov.  He is successful and prosperous.  The blessings he received, which had initially been meant for Esav, have come to fruition. Yaakov has "made it".  He has completed a metamorphosis from being a “man sitting in the tent” - a yeshiva student - to becoming a successful entrepreneur.  

Yet Yaakov struggles with his success.  As he prepares to meet his brother, he is left alone.  Yaakov looks at all the wealth which he has accumulated, and he questions his identity.  “Have I become too much like Esav?”

All night long, Yaakov’s spiritual self and his physical self wrestle with each other as he tries to determine his true identity.  In the end, Yaakov prevails, but he is injured.  He receives a new name, Yisrael, and he limps away.  From this point on, Jews do not eat the hip tendon (gid ha-nasheh) of the animal to remember this battle.

Rabbi Kahn writes: In the resolution that is finally achieved, the physical realm is forced to yield. Laws, like that of the hip tendon will create spiritual boundaries within the physical experience, making possible the elevation of the physical world to a spiritual plane.  This is Yaakov's resolution – and a resolution for us, his descendants. Yaakov may look like Esav, but he is now Yisrael, the name which speaks of his relationship with the physical and spiritual realms.

This battle continues within each of us.

Especially at this time of year, as Chanukah approaches while we are, simultaneously, bombarded with images of another holiday, I think about what it means to be a modern Jew today.  We are incredibly blessed with rich Jewish lives in the middle of an incredible modern society that, at times, challenges our Jewish identities.  There is a struggle.

Embrace the struggle. 

It is in right in the middle of this disequilibrium that our future will be won.

How will we transmit passion to our children?

What should I be studying that will fortify my Jewish commitment?

How can I respond to the turbulent times?

How can I make a difference in a world where the volume is louder and shriller and the common ground is getting smaller?

I don’t know, but let’s get ready to rumble!

Anything is Possible: The Lesson of 300 Tons of Garbage

“Hasidic volunteers search 300 tons of garbage for lost tefillin, come up empty”

That was the headline last month describing a search of immense – and stinky – proportions.

A Williamsburg man placed his fully loaded bag containing his tallit and two pairs of tefillin (some people – especially Chasidim – wear a second pair in accordance with the view of Rabbeinu Tam) into a storage cubby at his synagogue.  The bag went missing.  Then someone had the bright idea to check thesurveillance video.

The video shows the man stuffing his bag into an already crowded portion of the storage unit.  Protruding the way it was from the cubby, it was only a matter of time before the laws of gravity took over, and the bag fell out of the cubby, landing directly in an adjacent trash can, without anyone noticing.  Now, the challenge is: how to get the tefillin back…

The New York City Department of Sanitation and Councilman Stephen Levin both got involved.  It was determined that the bag was in one of 32 containers that were shipped to Waste Management’s Fairport landfill, located southeast of Rochester.  By Monday morning a group of 30 volunteers from Brooklyn had traveled more than 300 miles to Rochester and were ready to start searching through an ocean of garbage, aided by 40 temporary workers.  Officials at Waste Management pulled all 32 container loads that had arrived from the area and gave the group a location where they could search through the trash, one container load at a time.  By Tuesday night the group had searched through 16 containers of refuse without finding the missing tallit bag.  The search continued through Thursday, but, alas, the tefillin were not found.

The search generated a lot of teamwork, determination, and positive feelings and attracted national attention.  One official noted: “We’ve had folks from the local community reaching out and offering their help.  We have also had people from other religious communities offering to do whatever they can, people offering hospitality and hotels offering accommodations.  We have even had people walking in and asking if they can help search.  There have been a lot of people who are willing to chip in.  We are all very inspired by the dedication and to see how many people are coming through for them.”

We can use more collaboration and common purpose these days.

What is your reaction to this story?

My wife Naama’s reaction was: That's a really silly place to put a garbage can...Someone should just buy the guy a new set of tefilin.  Both very true observations.

I found myself thinking:  How could they think there was even the slightest chance they would find the tefillin?  It is impossible!

Well, maybe we can achieve the impossible when we tell ourselves it is possible.

Like our patriarch, Jacob.

When Jacob arrived at Charan, he encountered some shepherds and their flocks of sheep near the well.  The opening of the well was sealed with a giant boulder.  Jacob asked why the shepherds were just sitting around and waiting.  Why not remove the boulder and give water to the flocks?  The shepherds responded that they needed to wait for everyone to assemble.  Just then, Rachel showed up.  Upon seeing her, Jacob rolled the boulder off the well himself and gave water to her sheep.  (Bereishit 29:7-10)

The obvious question is how was Jacob able to roll off the rock that was too heavy to be moved without all the shepherds present and helping?

One answer is that Jacob was much stronger than the other shepherds.  Another answer is that Jacob was seized with passion, and the adrenaline rush gave him the additional strength to do what could normally not be done.

Rabbi Yehudah Aryeh Leib Alter (the Sefat Emet) asks a very fundamental question.  Didn’t Jacob realize that the boulder was too heavy to be moved by one man or even by several?  If it could be done, wouldn’t the other shepherds roll the boulder off the well?  Jacob was successful because he tried.  He tried, and he did.

Believing something is possible is the first step in accomplishing the impossible.  Fundamental to success is the belief that success is possible.  Psychologists call this the “self-efficacy theory.”

I am not sure those Jews searching through the trash knew this theory, but they were strongly committed to finding that tefillin bag. 

There are plenty of things which seem way beyond our grasp: peace in the Middle East, compromise between the Right and the Left, or a compromise regarding the Western Wall.  If we wait until everyone is ready to solve a problem, we’ll be waiting forever.  We need to begin by telling ourselves that the impossible is truly possible.  Even if we don’t succeed – or find the tefillin, the quest to move forward will leave us better than before.