Christmastime for the Jews

Are there any Jewish lessons to be learned from this time of the year?

Here’s one:

You can get a Kosher Pareve “Merry Christmas” cake! J

For the most part, the Jewish Christmas experience remains in the realm of Chinese food, movies, and pop culture (like this Saturday Night Live video short).

I think that this season of another religion’s celebration can give us something to think about from a Jewish perspective.  Here are two things I have been thinking about this season.  (Some of what follows is adapted from my sermon this past Shabbat at KJ.)

1)  It’s time for muscular Judaism.

I just read a very interesting piece in the Wall Street Journal entitled “The Death of God is Greatly Exaggerated.”  It focuses on Eric Metaxas, an author, radio host, and speaker, who is a proponent of “muscular Christianity.”  What is muscular Christianity?  Metaxas is a strong proponent that faith has a role in all discussions

I think Judaism should be a little more muscular.

Judaism has something to say about every aspect of our lives.  We should look to the Torah and not shy away from letting our faith influence how we approach the issues of the day. 

Issues such as poverty, hunger, immigration, and strengthening families are among the issues which religious perspectives can be beneficial.  We often say, “Eitz chaim hi,” that the Torah is a tree of life.  It is a way of life, and we should not shy away from looking to its teaching to address the issues of the day.

2)  Let’s talk more about faith.

I have watched parts of Midnight Mass on Christmas Eve.  I am intrigued by what is done and what is said.  I am no expert, but I notice a tremendous appreciation of the sacred, expressions of faith, and acceptance of the mysterious in the portions I have seen. 

This gets me thinking about the role of faith and holiness in Judaism.  It goes without saying how fundamental these ideas are in Judaism, but we focus on more on deed than creed.  While Judaism is far more about the mitzvoth (actions), we ignore the Godly and spiritual aspects at our own peril.

On the last day of classes before winter break, I taught my Ramaz seventh graders the “Halakhot of Vacation.”  I gave them a sheet with selections from Rabbi Yechiel Michel Ha-Levi Epstein’s Aruch Ha-Shulchan. In the very first chapter (Chapter 1, section 5), he states:

A foundation of Torah and a central pillar of Judaism is to know there is only one, unique, indivisible God who created the universe and continues to supervise the world every hour of every minute.

You may ask what this has to do with vacation.  The answer is that being Jewish means knowing and having a relationship with God. Whether it is in school or shul or on vacation, Judaism is built upon a relationship with the Divine. This is at the core of our religion, yet it is not a theme often heard in the school or synagogue.

My encounter with Midnight Mass got me thinking about how to add more of the sacred and God awareness in to Judaism.  The religious celebration of others can and should lead to a strengthening of our own faith and religious experience.

The Force Awakens: Star Wars and the Soul

I have not seen Star Wars: The Force Awakens yet.  (Don’t spoil it for me!)

I admit that I am a fan of Star Wars (and Star Trek for that matter).  Although I do not own a costume like this:

Guess who this is? He is NOT my father. :)

The movie is a HUGE cultural phenomenon.  It has had a record opening weekend, and is generating tons of discussion. 

Let’s not forget all the Jewish connections.  Ever stop and consider how Yoda is similar to the Hebrew word “yodei’a,” which means to know?   How about the battle between the Force and the Dark Side?  Yeitzer Tov (good inclination) and Yeitzer Ha-ra (evil inclination), anyone?  (See here and test your knowledge of “Who said these quotes? Yoda or Jewish Sage?”)

Why is Star Wars such a big deal? 

There are a number of reasons.  Without a full analysis of why science fiction movies have such passionate fans, movies like Star Wars are popular since people like to escape – and not in a negative way. 

A good sci-fi or fantasy book, show, or movie activates the imagination and gets us thinking about what is possible beyond the world in which we dwell.  (Anyone else a Twilight Zone fan like me?) 

This doesn’t mean we don’t like our own world or present reality.  As humans, we are constantly striving for more.  (Think about the research and writing of Viktor Frankl – especially Man’s Search for Meaning.) 

From a Jewish perspective, the desire for something more comes from our neshamah, the soul.  In a sense, our soul is restless and wants to change the status quo by fulfilling its mission – our mission – of adding holiness to this world.  It’s trying to move us to feel and – then, by extension – act differently.

The Piaseczner Rebbe, Rabbi Kalonimus Kalman Shapira, was a brilliant educator with keen insight into the inner workings of the soul.  He wrote (Tzav V’Ziruz #9):

The soul of a person loves to feel.  It yearns not only for feelings of happiness but even for melancholy and tearful feelings.  A person will listen to horror stories and watch violent horrifying scenes which actually bring him to tears, just so he will be able to feel.  Emotion is the food of the soul; it is as much of a need of the soul as food is to the body.  A person who fulfills this need with emotional prayer and study is nourishing the soul correctly.  Prayer and study without emotion will leave a vacuum that will force the soul to search for emotion anywhere, even in sinful behavior.     (Emphasis added.)

There is clearly a difference between prayer, Torah study, other religious activities and Star Wars.  The Piasezcner Rebbe would certainly advocate more time spent on the former, and I think we all should think about our religious and spiritual Jewish lives more often.  At the same time, we live in a world with many vehicles to stimulate our attentions, imaginations, and creative thinking. 

It may be Midrash or movies, we need to find ways to let our imagination and souls soar and to take us to new creative, spiritual and religious heights. 

May the force be with you!

The Best Chanukah Present of All

As Chanukah ends, I find myself thinking: “Where did those 8 days go?” 

Do you get this feeling, too?  When Chanukah starts, it seems like the holiday will last forever.  Last Monday, I remember thinking: “Wow, is it only the second night?  This is going to be the longest Chanukah ever.”

(A lot had to do with the excitement surrounding the vandalism of the Menorah in Carl Schurz Park.  UPDATE: NYPD caught the guy!) 

Now, I can’t believe Chanukah is ending.

I always get very nostalgic on the last night of Chanukah.  There is something about seeing all of the candles lit that evokes a reflective and contemplative spirit.  I don’t want the feeling to end.

8th night of Chanukah at the Weinstocks

It doesn’t have to.

Each night, after lighting the candles, we proclaim: "Ein lanu reshut l'hishtameish bahem ela lir'otam bilvad - we have no permission to use the candles for any mundane purposes.  They are only there to be watched."  

What do we gain by simply watching the candles?  A whole lot. 

When was the last time you just stopped and stared at something?  When was the last time you contemplated the joy and beauty of what is right in front of you?  When was the last time you put the phone away (on a weekday)?

Just looking at the lights teaches us that we need to stop, look, and contemplate more.

In a recent NY Times article entitled “Addicted to Distraction,” Tony Schwartz wrote about the phenomenon of our shortened attention spans.  We are always plugged in and online, and this has obvious repercussions on our quality of life.  He tells the following story.

Occasionally, I find myself returning to a haunting image…I was sitting in a restaurant with my family when a man in his early 40s came in and sat down with his daughter, perhaps 4 or 5 years old and adorable.

Almost immediately, the man turned his attention to his phone. Meanwhile, his daughter was a whirlwind of energy and restlessness, standing up on her seat, walking around the table, waving and making faces to get her father’s attention.

Except for brief moments, she didn’t succeed and after a while, she glumly gave up. The silence felt deafening. 

Have you ever encountered something like this before?  Have you ever acted like the father in this story? 

It is not easy to set aside our connection to the wonders of the internet, Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Snapchat, and the other portals for information.  I know from experience, but we need to resist the urge.  (See here for a great message about not missing what’s right in front of us.)

The lasting lesson of the requirement to gaze at the lights of Chanukah is to stop, look, and take in all that is in front of us.  We need to recapture the ability to be fully present in the moment.

The greatest present we can give ourselves as Chanukah ends is to try and be more present – more fully present – in all the great things going on around us.

Now that you’ve finished reading this, turn off your phone and go really connect with someone. J

Put on your yarmulka, it's time for Chanukah!

Have you seen Adam Sandler’s updated version of his Chanukah Song?

I like it!  So do the more than 1.2 million people who watched it on Youtube.  Sandler, in his inimitably crazy way, lists all sorts of celebrities who are Jewish (or partially Jewish), while listing some Jews who have shaped our world: no polio thanks to Jonas Salk; Google’s founders are Jewish.

The song is on ode to Jewish relevance and influence.  While it is not an example of deep Jewish learning or serious commitment, the song captures how much Jews have accomplished and can instill a little Jewish pride in those not as Jewishly engaged. 

The very fact that such a song is so popular is proof of Judaism’s historic and continued influence.  Think about how large a role Judaism plays in pop culture.  Whether it be film, music, or late night television, Judaism is relevant.

Here’s my latest favorite.  Watch James Corden work behind the counter at a Kosher supermarket.

It’s funny stuff, but also very relevant and timely.

Chanukah is all about the survival, continuity, and relevance of Judaism throughout the ages.  There is no logical or numeric reason for Jews to have such an influence.  We just do.

For me, Chanukah is about reminding ourselves and our children and the whole wide world that Judaism is relevant and has the capacity to improve - light up - our world.

The laws and traditions of Chanukah provide the foundation for a holiday incredibly filled with this message of relevance.  Sometimes, however, a little humor or pop culture gives the tradition a little push. This is why Sandler’s Chanukah Song is so timely.

Chanukah’s relevance is why it is a holiday that we cannot keep to ourselves.  We MUST spread the message. 

We light the candles in the window where they can be seen.  But that is not enough.  We need to be more active than putting the lights in the window.  We need to reach out.

We need to “go big.”

That’s why each year we host a Chanukah in the Park and light a giant Menorah.

We can also “go small.”

On Chanukah, it is so easy to reach out to others.  All it takes is a menorah, and you can create a “Home of Light.”  Each year, my family invites neighbors from our building to join us for one night of Chanukah.  We light the menorah, sing a little, and, of course, serve Chanukah treats.  (Here are pictures from last year.)

It is just too easy to share Chanukah.  Everyone needs to try it.

I hope you have an illuminating and enlightening Festival of Lights.  Celebrate it with family and friends – and celebrate it beyond the walls of your home in ways both big and small. 

And, in the immortal words of Adam Sandler, “If you really, really wannaka, have a happy, happy, happy, happy, Chanukah!”

What's the difference between sweet potatoes and yams?

Do you know the difference between sweet potatoes and yams?  I don’t nor do I even especially like either.  They may be the same thing.  Maybe not.  You can discuss it at the Thanksgiving table.  (See here for a summary of the opinions as well as Stephen Colbert’s take on Thanksgiving table debates.)

I love Thanksgiving!

I know there have been articles written about whether Jews can or should celebrate Thanksgiving.  Does Thanksgiving have Christian origins or is it simply an American holiday devoted to the very universal ideal of gratitude? 

I don’t care.  Thanksgiving is as Jewish as apple pie is American! 

It is a day when all Americans can celebrate together.  It is a holiday when rabbis don’t have to give sermons or officiate at services.  It is a day when we can all have the festive meal and drive home afterwards.  

It is a day devoted to gratitude.  We need gratitude.

“I would maintain that thanks are the highest form of thought, and that gratitude is happiness doubled by wonder.” - G.K. Chesterton

Gratitude is at the core of who we are.  It is the source of so many values and good character traits.  Gratitude is central to happiness and satisfaction and an awareness of how good the world can be.

Jews are thankful people.  Literally.

We wake up with the words: Modeh ani – I give thanks.

Jews are called yehudim, which originates from the tribe of Yehudah (Judah).  Leah named her fourth son Yehudah because of her gratitude to God. 

Being a Yehudi (Jew) means being grateful and aware of just how much we have.

What do we have?

In this week’s Torah portion, we can gain a perspective in appreciating what we have.

Yaakov (Jacob) sends a gift to Esav (Esau) to placate him.  The reunion goes reasonably well.  Esav is impressed by the gift but resists accepting it by saying to Yaakov:  “I have a lot (yesh li rav); you keep what is yours.”

Yaakov insists that Esav accept the gift and says, “God has been gracious to me, and I have everything (yesh li kol).”  Esav then accepts the gift.

Here we see two mindsets.  Esav views what he has as being significant.  Maybe he is even grateful for having plenty, but there is still room for more.  Yaakov, however, is completely satisfied with what he has.  He needs nothing else for he has it all.

Rav versus Kol.  We can and should be grateful for having a lot, but can we be so grateful that having what we have is having it all?

We should try. 

Think about how much each of us has.  There is always room for more, but when we say thank you, can we view what we have as having it all?

What am I thankful for?  Just off the top of my head, here are a few things:

-                             Family

-                             Food (especially today’s turkey and stuffing)

-                             Friends

-                            State of Israel (where some people are celebrating Thanksgiving)

-                         Life having meaning and purpose

-                         Ability to help and make an impact on others

Thanksgiving affords us with an opportunity for a religious experience.  We say thank you every day and all the time.  Thanksgiving reinforces that Jewish responsibility while providing us a chance to ask ourselves:

What am I thankful for today on Thanksgiving and every day?  How can I best appreciate that having a lot is really having it all?

Happy Thanksgiving!

Shaking Hands With History

I can’t say anything this week without referring to those murdered by terrorists in Israel.  See here for a list of names and some biographical information and here for some thoughts I shared when the Henkins were murdered. 

Especially powerful for me were the words of Aviad Don, son of murdered educator Rabbi Yaakov Don of Alon Shevut: “Teach me how to be optimistic at times like these.”

Even with pain in our hearts, we seek a way forward.

Jonathan Pollard was released from prison today.

While supporting his release was a hotly debated issue in the Jewish community throughout the years, recently, there was a consensus that Pollard had paid for his crimes (serving more time in jail than any other spy for a friendly country) and should be released on humanitarian grounds.

As a youngster, I remember being fascinated by the Pollard affair.  I read the book Pollard: The Spy’s Story written by Bernard Henderson, the father of Ann Pollard, Jonathan’s wife at the time of his arrest. 

Another way I connected to the story was that Jonathan Pollard’s sister lived in my hometown.  I knew her, and, through her, I felt a greater connection to something historic (or history in the making).

I mention this because, however one feels about the Pollard case, this is a historic moment.  A Jewish American spy for Israel, whose case was constantly an issue when American and Israeli leaders met, has now been released.  It is the end of an era.

We study history, and we remember history.  How often do we feel like we’re part of history?

Rabbi Marc Angel shared some reflections about Rabbi Dr. David de Sola Pool, the Rabbi of Congregation Shearith Israel for 63 years until his passing in 1970.  Rabbi Angel describes how he felt connected to history by connecting with this venerable rabbi:

When I shook Dr. Pool’s hand, I was shaking the hand of a great spiritual leader who had begun his service to Shearith Israel in 1907; he had taken over from Dr. Mendes who had begun service to Shearith Israel in 1877. I was one handshake away from 1877! And just a few more handshakes separated me from Rev. Gershom Mendes Seixas who had begun serving Shearith Israel in 1768. I felt the weight of centuries, the incredible continuity of a magnificent tradition.

It is important to reinforce our connections to history.  I believe that how strongly we feel bound to history will determine the future of the Jewish people.  If we feel connected to the past and responsible for carrying it forward to the next generation (so that one day we are the past), then Judaism will thrive.  If we do not feel the power and responsibility of the past, then it will be much harder for Judaism to move forward to the future.

Is Hashem a Boy or a Girl?

One of my favorite weekly activities is to teach a short Torah portion lesson to Ramaz third graders.  For a rabbi, it’s great for the self-esteem.  They listen attentively and think I have all the answers.  (The only better audience is Nursery students.  They think I’m a rock star!)

Kids ask the best questions!  Especially in the Torah portions of Bereishit, their questions touch at some of the most essential issues.  Was Avraham Jewish?  How did Sarah hear Hashem?  Why didn’t Yitzchak and Rivka talk to each other about who should receive the blessing?

Last week, I walked into the lunchroom while the third graders were eating lunch.  They saw me, and one shouted out, “Is Hashem a boy or a girl?”  It is just the type of question I expect from young students.  They are excited and have passion.

Do we?

Two weeks ago, I returned to my hometown (New Haven, CT) to attend the 70^th anniversary gala of my local day school, the Southern Connecticut Hebrew Academy, where I was recognized as a distinguished alumnus.  Let’s just say, I am more grown up now, and both guys at the podium are much older than we used to be.

 

I was transported back more than 30 years ago to memories of the classroom, teachers, incidents, and questions.  And you know what?  It felt very good.  Those were the experiences that helped make me who I am.  Those are the formative experiences that have shaped us.

They also can continue to shape us if we let them.   

A few days ago, I met with a congregant, and we discussed a unique insight into Adam and Chava and the aftermath of their eating from the Tree of Knowledge.  The Torah says that “their eyes were opened.”  Daniel R. noted that, as we grow older, our eyes are opened to new perspectives and new ideas that make it difficult for us to recapture the innocence we had before that happens.  We don’t always appreciate those formative experiences when we were younger and life was simpler.

We need to close our eyes.  We need to transport ourselves back spiritually to when we were excited about the simple questions and sought out answers.

We should get in touch with our “inner child” or former student self.  We should return to basic yet important questions and see that they can reawaken within us that enthusiasm we used to have.  Why shouldn’t we have more of that today?

Take a look at your children or grandchildren or any children.  Try to see the world through their eyes and examine age-old questions through a fresh perspective.

Is Hashem a boy or a girl?  Why did Yitzchak love Esav while Rivkah loved Yaakov?  Was Avraham Jewish?   What’s on your mind?  What’s on our children’s minds?

Let us ask ourselves and each other the questions that will generate enthusiasm for a life filled with seeking meaningful answers.

Halloween & Hospitality

“Avraham ran to the mal’achim to be machnis orchim (invite guests)!” 

This is the chorus for a Jewish children’s song by “613 Torah Avenue” that I remember from my youth and was wafting through the halls as it was played for the Ramaz Early Childhood Center Shabbat party.  (If you want to enjoy it for yourself, click here.)  It describes Avraham’s hospitality, which appears in this week’s Torah reading and sets an example for all of us.

Avraham went out of his way to welcome guests. Do we?

The Machlis family does.  Their Jerusalem home is famous for Friday night dinners with more than 100 guests.  Same thing for Shabbat lunch.  Their hachnasat orchim is exceptional.  (Henny Machlis recently passed away at the age of 58.  See here for more about the family’s unbelievable chesed.  Here's another great article about the benefits and joys of hospitality.)

I shared the Machlis hospitality with my Ramaz students today.  We discussed inviting guests and making people feel welcome.  I think it is a sign of the times (or of living in Manhattan) that some of the students asked if it is safe to invite strangers home.  (I told them to always make sure to check with an adult.) 

I must admit to being a little envious of the Machlis family.  It would be incredible to create an open Shabbat environment for all.  We have congregational and Beginners Shabbat dinners, but how can we take this to the next level?  How can we internalize the lesson of Avraham and seek out ways to invite all of our brothers and sisters home?  

There is no easy answer, but it begins with developing a hospitable mindset and appreciating the need to make everyone feel welcome and comfortable.  And, believe it or not, I think Halloween may have something to teach us.

Now, while I love candy as much as the next guy, I do not think Jews have any business celebrating Halloween.  My colleague, Rabbi Eric Grossman sent out a most appropriate message about the subject as did my good friend, Rabbi Adam Starr.  I get it.  Halloween is fun.  We need to do a better job making Judaism fun, but we save our dressing up for Purim. 

However, this idea of being open to all sorts of people stopping by for a treat – including weird looking characters – has a nice ring to it.

In some Jewish neighborhoods, people turn out the lights so as not to be disturbed by trick-or-treaters. Here’s a story I heard from my brother about an “Ultra-Orthodox” rabbi who had another approach:

Mr. Yakov Paneth reports that when he brought his future wife to meet Rabbi Avraham Pam, the famed head of Yeshiva Torah Vodaath, it happened to be Halloween night.  While Rav Pam refused to take any phone calls during the meeting because he felt it was rude, he did answer the door for the trick-or-treaters who kept ringing the doorbell and dropped a piece of chocolate into each basket with a smile on his face.

On this Shabbat of Avraham’s hospitality, let’s give some thought to how we can be more radically hospitable and make others feel as welcome and comfortable as we do.

How’s that for a nice treat?

1.21 gigawatts?! Looking to the future

What did you do to mark Back to the Future Day? (Do you even know what I’m talking about?)

October 21, 2015 is the date 30 years in the future to which Doc Brown and Marty McFly travel in the film, Back to the Future.  (Here’s a blast from the past - 1.21 gigawatts?!) 

Well, the future is here.  How did we do?  Cars don’t fly, and we don’t really have hover boards.  We haven’t brought peace to the Middle East, and who could have guessed Donald Trump would be leading the polls in the 2016 presidential election back in 1985?  (See here for a humorous look from the “Jimmy Kimmel Live” show.)

While it would be nice to predict the future, the world is a very unpredictable place.  One of the great things about the people – and the Jewish people in particular – is our ability to always move forward regardless of the situation.

On YNET right now is the report of a family of five injured when a terrorist threw a fire bomb at their car (refuah shleimah!) as well as reporting on a successful Tel Aviv fashion week.

Terrorists show no concern for decency and morality by attacking men, women, and children, and there is absolutely no regard for the truth on the Palestinian side.  The Jews, however grapple with morality.  Israeli hospitals treat both terror victims and terrorists.  (Just today, Mahmoud Abbas’s brother-in-law had lifesaving heart surgery in Israel.)  While the number of terrorist attacks in Israel increased, Rav David Stav of Tzohar was addressing the moral issues of harming neutralized terrorists.

Where do we get the ability to balance firebombs and fashion and murder and morality? 

Lech lecha.  We get going?  Avraham left and didn’t know exactly where he would end up.  He embarked on the journey, entered the land, and then stopped.  Who told him where to stop?  Avraham just know.  There is something inside us that allows us to keep going, to focus on the positive, and to strive for what is right. 

There are some things which seem to never change – like the Arab position on the Temple Mount or the UN being anti-Israel.  At the same time, we can be sure that our commitment to life moving forward, to goodness, to joy, and to looking towards the future will never change either.

Here’s to the future! 

P.S. Israel is obviously on our minds and in our hearts more than usual.  Rabbi Lookstein, in his message to the KJ community, captured the ways that we can respond religiously and practically, and here is another great message of what we can do for Israel at this time.