Monday, December 14, 2015

The Best Chanukah Present of All

As Chanukah ends, I find myself thinking: “Where did those 8 days go?” 

Do you get this feeling, too?  When Chanukah starts, it seems like the holiday will last forever.  Last Monday, I remember thinking: “Wow, is it only the second night?  This is going to be the longest Chanukah ever.”

(A lot had to do with the excitement surrounding the vandalism of the Menorah in Carl Schurz ParkUPDATE: NYPD caught the guy!) 


Now, I can’t believe Chanukah is ending.

I always get very nostalgic on the last night of Chanukah.  There is something about seeing all of the candles lit that evokes a reflective and contemplative spirit.  I don’t want the feeling to end.

8th night of Chanukah at the Weinstocks
It doesn’t have to.

Each night, after lighting the candles, we proclaim: "Ein lanu reshut l'hishtameish bahem ela lir'otam bilvad - we have no permission to use the candles for any mundane purposes.  They are only there to be watched."  

What do we gain by simply watching the candles?  A whole lot. 

When was the last time you just stopped and stared at something?  When was the last time you contemplated the joy and beauty of what is right in front of you?  When was the last time you put the phone away (on a weekday)?

Just looking at the lights teaches us that we need to stop, look, and contemplate more.

In a recent NY Times article entitled “Addicted to Distraction,” Tony Schwartz wrote about the phenomenon of our shortened attention spans.  We are always plugged in and online, and this has obvious repercussions on our quality of life.  He tells the following story.

Occasionally, I find myself returning to a haunting image…I was sitting in a restaurant with my family when a man in his early 40s came in and sat down with his daughter, perhaps 4 or 5 years old and adorable.

Almost immediately, the man turned his attention to his phone. Meanwhile, his daughter was a whirlwind of energy and restlessness, standing up on her seat, walking around the table, waving and making faces to get her father’s attention.

Except for brief moments, she didn’t succeed and after a while, she glumly gave up. The silence felt deafening. 

Have you ever encountered something like this before?  Have you ever acted like the father in this story? 

It is not easy to set aside our connection to the wonders of the internet, Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Snapchat, and the other portals for information.  I know from experience, but we need to resist the urge.  (See here for a great message about not missing what’s right in front of us.)


The lasting lesson of the requirement to gaze at the lights of Chanukah is to stop, look, and take in all that is in front of us.  We need to recapture the ability to be fully present in the moment.

The greatest present we can give ourselves as Chanukah ends is to try and be more present – more fully present – in all the great things going on around us.

Now that you’ve finished reading this, turn off your phone and go really connect with someone. J

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