Sweating the Small Stuff

Should we sweat the small stuff?

Twenty-five years ago, the late Dr. Richard Carlson wrote a book entitled Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff…and it’s All Small Stuff. It provides some much-needed wisdom for those of us whose peace of mind and happiness are disturbed by all of life’s minor inconveniences.

At the same time, sometimes, it is the “small stuff” that says a lot about who we are, what we value, and how we can make an impact.

Do you sleep with a top sheet on your bed?

Last week, there was an article in The Wall Street Journal about the latest item to divide our nation? The flat top sheet.

“To its fans, the top sheet is an essential part of a made bed: a crisp, clean buffer between The Body and The Blanket. To its detractors, that same top sheet is a superfluous distraction that is a pain to arrange in the morning and annoyingly bunches around one’s feet at night. Team Top Sheet argues that it’s more hygienic, more proper, just more correct to use one. Team None responds that it’s more efficient to skip it, and if you change your duvet cover regularly it’s just as clean.”

The article notes that the divide is generational. More traditional Gen X and Baby Boomers defend the top sheet. It’s more formal, practical, and economical. Millennials and Gen Z are kicking it off. It’s a hassle, an extra chore, and unnecessary.

The small stuff can be a big deal and even represent generational divides. While we shouldn’t get frustrated by minor issues, the small stuff is ignored at our own peril.

“V’haya eikev tishm’un – And it will be because you listen…” (Devarim 7:12)

The Torah describes the ideal of listening to God, obeying commandments, and living the good life. Rashi, however, notes that the word ”eikev” means “heel” and translates the verse, “If those light and easy mitzvot that a person might easily overlook and trample with the heel will be observed…” In this way, the Torah is encouraging us to sweat the small stuff. Obviously, a Jew should live a life of Torah, mitzvot, chesed, and faith. At the same time, we need a special reminder for those responsibilities that are easily overlooked.

What are they?

Rabbi Aharon Kotler, the founder of Lakewood Yeshiva, notes that our day-to-day encounters offer many opportunities for mitzvot that can easily be trampled underfoot in our pursuit of the ‘bigger things’ in life. He writes that it is the seemingly insignificant encounters which ultimately define who a person truly is. Our Sages teach us that Moshe and King David rose to their leadership status after being tested as shepherds. If one tends sheep with diligence, concern, and honesty, one will also tend a nation in such a fashion. We may have a busy day and a lot to do, but there is always time for a small kindness like holding the door or saying hello to the people we walk past.

Rabbi Yaakov Kaminetsky, the Rosh Yeshiva of Torah V’Da’as in Brooklyn, was walking in Williamsburg on Shabbat, and a funeral procession passed by. Rav Yaakov turned around from the direction he was going and started accompanying the funeral procession on foot, for several paces. Rav Yaakov's son who was with him asked incredulously, "What are you doing?" Rav Yaakov responded that the law requires that one accompany the deceased - even on Shabbat. His son persisted, "But the person is not even Jewish!" Rav Yaakov responded that it makes no difference. "All people are created in God's image."

We need to be on the lookout for such moments, for those opportunities easily trampled underfoot, for the small stuff.

A rabbinic colleague had a great initiative called “One Minute Mitzvot.” He encouraged people to take on small acts that could make a big difference. A few words, a few steps, a gesture, or a facial expression can leave a deep impression. Some of the suggested mitzvot were: Recite a blessing before eating, put up a mezuzah, remove challah before baking bread, stand as an elderly person passes, wash netilat yadayim, study one minute of Torah, or respect a rabbi (I like this one!).

We shouldn’t be shaken by sweating the small stuff. At the same time, sweating the small stuff can make an outsize difference in being better people and bettering those around us.