We Are Family!

You never know who you might be sitting next to on an airplane. This week, a selfie of Rabbi Yosef Tzvi Rimon and Noa Kirel went viral. Their encounter is a reminder of what it means to be part of the Jewish family.

Suffice it to say the two don’t run in the same circles. Rabbi Rimon is the Chief Rabbi of Gush Etzion with a huge following among Religious Zionists worldwide. He is known for his accessibility in responding to questions via WhatsApp. Noa Kirel, a 21-year-old pop star and IDF veteran from Raanana, finished third in this year’s Eurovision competition. They were seated next to each other on a plane from London to Tel Aviv.

Rabbi Rimon was puzzled when a message on the plane’s TV screens read, “Well done, Noa. We’re proud of you.” He asked his seatmate why congratulations were in order and to whom. She explained her Eurovision experience, surprised he didn’t recognize her. (I guess the rabbi has a different taste in music.) Rabbi Rimon texted his family that the two got to talking. Noa remarked that she had prayed at the contest and abstained from using her phone on Shabbat. Rabbi Rimon offered himself as a rabbinic resource in the future, and Kirel took his information, sending him their picture as a first communication.

It's always nice to have a celebrity sighting, but this “Rabbi meets pop star” is more than that. Here, we have two Jews meeting on airplane. Many people I know would only recognize Rabbi Rimon in the picture. Many others would only recognize Noa. Rabbi Rimon and Noa Kirel did not know each other. They hadn’t heard of each other. Nevertheless, there was a bond between them: Shabbat and the prayers of Shabbat were things they had in common. As a colleague noted: “Basically, you have a leading rabbi and celebrity who don’t know each other sitting next to each other on the plane, bridging segments of Israel and appreciating the greatness of the other.”

We are family.

“L’mishpechotam – According to families” (Bamidbar 1:2) Time and again, as the Jews are counted throughout the Book of Numbers, the counting is done according to the family. There are many laws and lessons learned from how and how often the Jews are counted. Each time, though, we are reminded of the essential role that family plays. We know it to be true. Sometimes, however, family bonds become frayed, and the importance of a strong family connection is challenged.

In 1974, Rabbi Menachem Mendel Schneerson, the Lubavitcher Rebbe addressed the importance the family connection. He noted there are times that family members choose different paths. They may attend different shuls or have different approaches to Judaism. It is essential to find a unifying element. The Rebbe suggests that Shabbat unites, in particular the Shabbat meal. That is the time for the family connection to be strengthened regardless of the different choices made the rest of the week. It is noteworthy that Shabbat was a unifying feature in Noa Kirel’s encounter with Rabbi Rimon.

L’mishpechotam is repeated so many times because the family connection we have – with family and with others – can never be taken for granted. This relationship is stronger than any differences that exist in our thinking or actions. Professor Yedidia Stern of the Israel Democracy Institute recently spoke at a conference in Jerusalem about the divisions in Israeli society. He invoked the popular saying, “United we stand; divided we fall.” He remarked that is possible to stand divided. Families are often divided. We should lean into our divisions – so long as we remember that we are family.

The Jewish emphasis on family informs our sense of responsibility even beyond our immediate family.

Abdullah Abu Jaba, a Palestinian laborer from Gaza, was killed last week in a rocket attack while working near the southern Israel border town of Shokeda. He was one of 18,000 Gazans who have permits to work in Israel. Hundreds were believed trapped in Israel when the IDF launched its operation in response to Palestinian rocket fire, and the border crossings were shut. This week, Israel announced that Abu Jaba will be recognized by the state as a victim of terror, which will entitle his family to state benefits, consisting of payments to his widow and children. It is the right thing to do.

Contrast Israel’s action with the Palestinians ignoring Abu Jaba. Writing in the The Spectator, Stephen Daisley notes that nobody in the press seems to want to write how the Palestinian terrorists don’t care about their own people. There are stories about the rockets and Iron Dome and those killed – with extra coverage for civilians killed in Gaza. There is no coverage of Abdullah Abu Jaba. Daisley writes:

“Major media outlets will not compete to tell human-interest stories about how he played with his children or how his family will cope without him. No U.S. congressmen or British MPs will demand justice for him. Palestinians are killed in Israeli air strikes, too…The difference is that Palestinians inadvertently killed by Israel quickly become faces of the conflict while you have to turn to page 27 and scan another dozen paragraphs to learn about Palestinians killed by Palestinian terrorism.”

We are family. Our family bonds provide commonalities even when we haven’t heard of each other. The role family plays in connecting us to other Jews trickles down into our sense of responsibility towards others, towards strangers.

The world needs far more “l’mishpechotam,” and we must keep our family-ness front and center. It’s OK to be divided as long as we remember we are family.