Wartime Weddings in Israel

Groom-to-warrior: Israeli couple marries on army base after groom mobilized

Sometimes, you just don’t want to wait.

Despite the war, some Israeli couples decided not to change their wedding plans.

Nadav, 33, from Rishon Lezion, was scheduled to tie the knot with his partner of four years, Noam, in a ceremony on October 11. We all know what happened in between, and Nadav was called up for reserve duty. What would seem to mean postponing the wedding turned into a morale boost and joyous moment within all the chaos and pain. Nadav arranged for the wedding to be held on his base.

Noam’s father, Avner, shared his son's words with Ynet. "Dad, I'm aware that our wedding was canceled, but I'm committed to boosting my friends' morale…The mood here at the base is quite downcast, and I'm determined to have the wedding ceremony right here.”

The joyous wedding scene was interrupted as Nadav had to leave when his unit was deployed up north. He left, but the remaining soldiers continued their dancing - except when interrupted by rocket sirens, forcing everyone to seek shelter.

There are a number of stories of weddings going forward, of celebration and joy piercing the pain and gloom so many are feeling. Sometimes, love can conquer all.

These past weeks, I have been focused on spiritual responses to what is happening in Israel, the prayers we recite, and finding elevating and inspiring moments within the chaos. These weddings – and the joy we feel when Jews marry – provide us with a hopeful, confident message regarding our connection to Israel.

This week, we read about the promise of the Land of Israel to Avraham and his descendants. God first articulates the promise in very direct terms: “I will give this land to your descendants” (Bereishit 12:7). It gets more complicated. Towards the end of Parshat Lech Lecha (15:9-21), God adds another dimension to the promise in the Brit Bein Ha’betarim, the “covenant of the pieces.” Against a dark, gloomy setting of cut-up animals, various birds, a burning furnace, and smoking torch, God tells Avraham that his descendants will be slaves in Egypt and only arrive in the Land of Israel after several generations. It will take time, but Avraham’s descendants will acquire the land.

While the promise of the land is straightforward, how do we make sense of the strange, ominous backdrop of this covenant? Rabbi David Kimchi (the Radak), explains:

“The reason for dividing the creatures, as part of the covenant that God concluded with Avraham, was to suggest that all of the nations that dealt harshly with Israel will be divided among themselves and in dispute. They shall oppose each other and shall fight each other until they are destroyed…The birds symbolize the dispersion of Israel to the four corners of the heavens, but they are still one people.  All of them cleave unto their teachings and beliefs, and from east to west they share a single heritage, for they do not abandon their religion in spite of the troubles of exile and the harsh decrees that pass over them constantly…

Now the vultures descended upon the birds to consume them, but Avram drove them off. This indicates that although in every generation, the nations of the world shall rise up against us to destroy us, will God preserve us from their clutches in Avram's merit…”

Our claim and connection to Israel is not easy. Radak, who lived 1160-1235, clearly had a historical perspective to back him up. The Jews has been in exile for well over 1,000 years by then. The last 800 years or so have borne out the proposition that there will always be challenges, plenty of vultures to chase away.

Nevertheless, our connection to Israel runs deep. In a way, l’fum tzara agra, our reward and joy and optimism and inspiration when it comes to Israel is all the greater because of our complicated connection.

When I read about the wartime weddings, I could not help but think of the words of the Sheva Berachot, seven blessings, recited under the chuppa and for a week afterward. Particularly meaningful is the 5^th beracha:

“May the barren one (Jerusalem) rejoice greatly and delight in the ingathering of her children within her in joy. Lord, You are the source of all blessing, who causes Zion to rejoice with her children.”

It is in the moments where there is sadness and darkness that the sparks of hope, joy, and light shine brightest.

Rabbi Yosef Zvi Rimon was asked how to celebrate the bride and groom in situations in which they would not be able to celebrate as usual for the week after the wedding due to deployment. He noted that there is an opinion that, although Sheva Berachot are only recited for seven days, one can include a celebratory shoutout of the words “She’ha-simcha bi’mono – God is with us in joy” during Birkat Hamazon for an entire year after marriage. He explained that this extra time for acknowledging the wedding is unique to Israel since, thankfully, we have returned to our land and have an independent state.

Wartime weddings in Israel testify to the complicated covenant we have with God and the land. They are also inspiring stories of joy, foretelling the fullness of celebration and victory, please God, to come.