I
don’t repeat lashon hara (evil speech)…
So
listen carefully the first time…
The Torah never mentions the words lashon hara nor directly specifies the punishment for speaking it will be the skin affliction called tzara’at, often translated inaccurately as leprosy. It is implied in the story of Miriam speaking ill about Moshe's wife and then being afflicted with tzara'at. Tradition puts one and one together, and tzara'at and lashon ha-ra are forever linked at the hip.
The Talmud and Jewish law briefly describe the details of lashon hara. There are two types – gossip and slander. There are certain exceptions when information needs to be shared. Essentially, the best way to sum up the rules of lashon hara is, essentially, “If you don’t have something nice to say, don’t say anything at all.”
Lashon hara got a big boost of its profile in the writings of Rabbi Yisrael Meir Kagan of Radin (1838-1933), who is better known as the Chafetz Chaim, the title of the book he wrote devoted to the subject of lashon hara. The words mean “one who desires life” and are from Psalm 34:
מִי־הָאִישׁ הֶחָפֵץ חַיִּים אֹהֵב יָמִים
לִרְאוֹת טוֹב׃ נְצֹר לְשׁוֹנְךָ מֵרָע וּשְׂפָתֶיךָ מִדַּבֵּר מִרְמָה׃
“Who is the one who desires life, who desires years of good fortune? Guard your tongue from evil, your lips from deceitful speech.”
Want to live a long life? Watch your tongue.
The Chafetz Chaim’s focus on lashon hara transformed the subject from a mitzvah among many into an ethical focus which has spawned further books, campaigns, and initiatives. It was an important effort as gossip, slander, and all forms of negative speech are so easily spoken. By expounding on the subject within the context of Jewish law – like other aspects of Jewish behavior, the Chafetz Chaim tried to get us to treat lashon hara as seriously as the rest of our Judaism.
Over the past 100 years, the problem has only gotten worse. The rapid expansion of media and now social media has created a reality in which we encounter all types of lashon hara – negative speech and communication that extend far beyond “just” gossip and slander.
The lines between lashon, communication and speech, and lashon hara, negative speech, have become blurry. Besides how this impacts the object of the speech, speaking or hearing lashon hara has a negative impact on us. We become desensitized to the power of words to hurt; we become far less discriminating in how we speak with others; and we become less discerning and more dismissive of views that differ from our own.
In a world of short attention spans suffused with lashon hara, a new effort was needed to combat all the negativity. About 12 years ago, Israeli David Halperin started using the slogan “Lashon Hara Lo Medaber Eilay,” which means lashon hara doesn’t speak to me, as a simple tool to combat all the negative speech out there. The idea is that we are better than the crude, hurtful, and disparaging language that is so prevalent today. He started a campaign based on the slogan complete with ads and stickers that can be seen all over Israel and beyond. The expression speaks to all kinds of audiences from secular to Haredi and has numerous celebrity endorsements.
Omer Adam is an Israeli singer whose music fuses elements of eastern Mizrahi music and Western Pop instrumentation. He has a 2020 song entitled “Lashon Hara Lo Medaber Eilay.” While the lyrics may not be a comprehensive presentation of the laws of lashon hara, the song notes all the noise out there and a desire to focus on the truth and things which matter. We can and must be better.
“Let your eyes look forward, your gaze be straight ahead.” (Mishlei 4:25)
Rabbi Naftali Tzvi Yehuda Berlin, the Netziv, explained this verse teaches us that if you look at someone and first notice a fault, turn your eye inward and look at yourself instead.
Even though it sometimes seems that speaking lashon hara can be satisfying and enjoyable, the truth is that it is exactly the opposite. Speaking lashon hara corrodes our viewpoint, corrodes our relationships, and ultimately corrodes our soul. Avoiding lashon hara creates space for us to appreciate the blessings that we have. Avoiding lashon hara will make us happier people, allowing us to develop our positive dispositions and to strengthen our relationship with God and with others.
Maybe some of the negativity out there is a reflection of ourselves and how we look at things.
The Torah commands us against speaking evil. The Rabbis codified the rules. One hundred years ago, the Chafetz Chaim recognized the need for a crusade. Today, Omer Adam has become the spokesperson (or song-person) to carry the message to the masses that lashon hara must not speak to us. Instead, we must look inwards at the best of our nature so as to see the best in others.
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