Hospitality is More than Hosting

“Avraham ran to the malachim (angels) to be machnis orchim (offer hospitality)!”

This is the chorus of a Jewish children’s song on “613 Torah Avenue,” an album from my youth. It describes Avraham’s hospitality for the three angels disguised as travelers in the desert in need of food and a break. The Sages describe Avraham, recuperating from having circumcised himself a few days earlier at age 99, scanning the horizon in the hopes of finding a guest. God, to save Avraham the effort, made it hotter than usual outside so that nobody would venture out. But Avraham wanted company! In the end, God sent the angels, and a lesson in hospitality for the ages – and a song – is born.

Judaism places a premium on hospitality.

“Gedolah hachnasat orchim mi-kabbalat pnei ha-shechinah - Hospitality toward guests is greater than receiving the Divine Presence, as when Abraham invited his guests, he requested that God, the Divine Presence, wait for him while he tended to his guests appropriately.” (Shabbat 127a)

Avraham prioritized hospitality and even interrupted his conversation with God to welcome guests. Why is hospitality such a big deal?

Ambrose Bierce, early 20th century writer and cynic, defined hospitality as that “virtue which induces us to feed and lodge certain persons who are in need neither of food nor lodging.” Hospitality is about more than food.

The commentators note that the eshel (tree) that Avraham planted in Beersheva (Bereishit 21:33) was really more of a bed and breakfast. The Hebrew letters spelling eshel stand for: achila (food), shtiya (drink), and linah (rest). The lamed can also represent levaya, which means to escort the guest along their journey. Rambam emphasizes the importance of accompanying the guest after the meal.

“The reward one receives for accompanying guests is greater than all of the others. This is a statute which Abraham our Patriarch instituted and the path of kindness which he would follow. He would feed wayfarers, provide them with drink, and accompany them…Accompanying them is greater than showing them hospitality. Our Sages said: ‘Whoever does not accompany them is considered as if he shed blood.’” (Laws of Mourning 14:2)

Why is escorting so important?

One explanation is that there is a need to protect the guest and ensure they get home alright. On a deeper level, escorting the person shows that the hospitality wasn’t just for food and drink; it also involved genuine concern for the person. Walking the guest out says, “I want to spend time with you. This meal together wasn’t just for us all to eat, drink and be satisfied. I want to cultivate and strengthen a personal connection.”

The famous Chasidic brothers, Reb Elimelech and Reb Zusha, traveled for several years incognito. It was called “galut” and was a mystical experience to accept upon themselves the pain of loneliness and alienation. (It was a common formative experience for many of the great rabbinic leaders.) The brothers traveled around the countryside as anonymous beggars. During this time, they came to one town, and they asked the richest resident for hospitality. He refused them as did many other citizens who had the means to host. Only the poorest man in town opened his home to them.

Several years later, the two rabbis were again travelling together. This time they were among the most famous rabbis of all Europe with thousands of followers. Once again, they visited this same town, and they entered with their horses and wagons and retinue. When they arrived, that same rich man (who did not recognize them) pleaded with them for the privilege of being their host. The rabbis instructed their servants that their horses and wagons were to be housed with the rich man, while they were going to stay with the poorest man in town once again.

When the wealthy man asked for the reason for this humiliation he was told, “We are the same people we were last time. The only difference is back then we were without horses and wagons, and now we came with them. Apparently, it is not us whom you desire to honor but our horses and our wagons. Hence, we are sending them to you, while we are going to the one who extended himself to us as human beings.”

Hospitality is about honoring the humanity of others.

Rabbi Joseph Soloveitchik (Abraham’s Journey, p.168) explains:

“When one gives tzedakah, it demonstrates sympathy, but not a philosophy of human equality holding that all Jews are benei melakhim, princes, regardless of differences in wealthy or knowledge. Hachnasat orchim, however, demonstrates full human equality, the fact that every being has his own dignity and is just as important as any other. It is much easier to give someone money and send him away than to invite him under our own roof. If I invite him in, that means that no matter what his station in life, I am treating him with respect, as an equal. Hachnasat orchim is symbolic of our personal relationships, and that is why the Torah gave us this picture of Avraham.”

It is not every day that we encounter a chance to host strangers in our homes. Times have changed. We don’t have as many people wandering through our villages. At the same time, we always have the chance to perform an act of levaya, accompaniment and companionship. It doesn’t have to be after a meal. We can encounter, validate, and expand a human connection in how we greet people, treat those we don’t yet know, or the way we speak to those we meet – friends, strangers, workers, anyone, and everyone.

Gedolah hachnasat orchim – Hospitality is great when we approach our encounters with others knowing that they are also encounters with God.