Friday, December 13, 2024

More, More, More: Rav vs. Kol


Why do we have so much stuff?

We lived in a Manhattan apartment for many years. I got used to things sometimes being a bit cluttered as we fit a lot of stuff into a relatively small space. When we moved into a house, I figured we would have lots of open space as the same stuff would be accommodated in a larger space.

I was wrong.

There seems to meta-scientific law that stuff expands. The more space you have, the more stuff you get. (Except for those annoyingly neat, minimalistic people.)

In So Much Stuff, archaeologist Chip Colwell investigates how and why humanity went from needing nothing to needing everything. In the beginning, there was “Ötzi the Iceman,” the name given to the well-preserved 5,000-year-old human mummy found in the Alps. He was carrying half his body weight of stuff that he needed. Some of those items – like his backpack, shoes, coat, undergarments, and tools – are the same type of things we carry around today. Whereas 5,000 years ago, the average household had only a few thousand items, today, we have over 300,000.

There are many factors as to why we now have more things. There’s simply more items available due to advances in technology, lifespan, and other factors. Obviously, the balance between needs and wants – and how to define which is which – plays a role and can be very subjective. As Judaism teaches (Avot 4:1), “Who is wealthy? One who is happy with one’s lot.” Whether one’s lot is a lot or too much will depend on perspective.

Yaakov provides a great perspective of how to appreciate what we have.

In advance of encountering his brother for the first time in over 20 years, Yaakov sends Esav a gift. The reunion goes reasonably well.  Esav is impressed by the gift but resists accepting it by saying to Yaakov, “Yesh li rav - I have a lot; you keep what is yours.”

Yaakov insists that Esav accept the gift and says, “God has been gracious to me. Yesh li kol - I have everything.” Esav then accepts the gift.

Here we see two mindsets. Esav views what he has as being significant. Maybe he is even grateful for having plenty and declines taking some of Yaakov’s wealth. Nevertheless, there is always room for more. Yaakov, however, is completely satisfied with what he has. He needs nothing else for he has it all.

Rav versus Kol. We can and should be grateful for having a lot, but can we be so grateful that having what we have is having it all? We should try.

Is it ever OK to “want more?”

The answer to this question relates to the Rav vs. Kol dynamic. Wanting more just to want more so that we can accumulate more is an Esav perspective. Wanting more “l’shem shamayim,” to help others or to improve ourselves or to make the world better is exactly the perspective Yaakov models for us.

I think this dynamic was the root of a strange dispute that arose in the religious community in Israel concerning a very popular Israeli song that is all the rage at weddings and celebrations. The song, Tamid Ohev Oti (God Always Loves Me), is based on a spiritual teaching of Rabbi Shalom Arush and features the chorus, “Od yoteir tov…v’tamid yihyeh li rak tov – God will keep making things better and better…and will always make it only good for me.” (It’s much catchier when you hear it.)

What can be wrong with things getting better and better? Some rabbis were disturbed with the aspiration for more goodness and more goodness and only good things. They claimed that’s not what Jews ask for nor how they ask. We should be satisfied with what we have and recognize “bad things” also have lessons for us to ponder.

I think a song can just be a song, and the controversy seems to have subsided with the opponents backing down. At the same time, our celebration and excitement for “Od yoteir tov,” greater and greater good should be motivated by Yaakov’s perspective. We should appreciate that what we have is what we need and that having more – more blessing, more peace, more kindness, and more love – should be for the right reasons – to live better lives as Jews and make the lives of those around us better.

That’s a lot and that will make things even better. Yesh lanu kol…v’od yoteir tov!

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