Are You a Ba'al Teshuva?

Teshuva (repentance) can be complicated.

The Talmud teaches that repentance and Yom Kippur atone for sins between man and God. When it comes to sins between people, we must ask for forgiveness and right the wrongs we committed. Some sins are serious. Some aren’t easily forgiven.

One example of a sin that is complicated to fix is lashon hara, gossip.

There is a well-known parable of a man who spreads lashon hara about another member of the community. Realizing his grave error, he turns to his rabbi for advice how to repent. The rabbi instructs him to take a down pillow to the top of a hill, cut it open, and let the feathers fly in the wind. When he returns, the rabbi tells him to now gather every feather. The man, startled, protests, “But that’s impossible!” The rabbi answers, “So it is with your words.”

Maybe it’s the difficulty of teshuva which earns the Ba’al Teshuva (penitent) such praise:
“In the place where penitents stand, even the full-fledged righteous do not stand” (Berachot 34b).

This teaching was articulated by Reish Lakish – himself a Ba’al Teshuva. The penitent, unlike someone who has always been observant, has “tasted the forbidden fruit.” They know what’s out there and, nevertheless, decided on their own to embrace observance and draw nearer to God.

Rabbi Adin Steinsaltz (1937-2020) was a revolutionary scholar and author. His commentary on the entire Talmud puts him the rarefied status of greats like Rashi. Rabbi Steinsaltz’s parents, Avraham and Leah, were fervent communists and non-believers. Leah adamantly refused to light Shabbat candles. Nevertheless, they wanted young Adin to study Talmud. Avraham told his son, “I want you to be an Apikores (heretic) not an Am HaAretz (ignoramus.)” Young Adin rebelled and went to a religious high school. The rest is history.

There are all different kinds of Ba’alei Teshuva because repentance is not one-size-fits-all. Rambam writes (Teshuva 7:1):

“Since every person is endowed with free will, as we have explained, he should try to perform teshuva and confess his sins verbally and renounce them, so that he may die penitent and thus be worthy of the World-to-Come.”

Rabbi Aharon Lichtenstein notes that the Rambam’s formulation “he should try” is uncharacteristic. We don’t find it said anywhere that we should “try” to observe Shabbat or keep kosher or daven. One is obligated, and there should be nothing more to say. The same should be the case with repentance.

We see that being a Ba’al Teshuva is not merely one who has fulfilled the commandment to repent. Rather, it is “the molding of the human personality, the maximization of one’s spiritual self and the realization of one’s psychological, moral and religious potential.” Based on Rav Lichtenstein, we encounter a Ba’al Teshuva who isn’t necessarily a sinful or nonobservant individual who has been reformed. It can be any individual who already serves God but is also aware of how much more is possible, how much higher to climb.

Each of us should think of ourselves as a Ba’al Teshuva since we should all be asking ourselves: Is this the best we can be?

Winston Lord is a former US diplomat, who worked closely with Henry Kissinger. He recounts how Kissinger always demanded excellence when it came to speeches. Lord once left Kissinger with a draft of a speech. Lord continues telling the story:

Kissinger called me in the next day and said, “Is this the best you can do?" I said, "Henry, I thought so, but I'll try again."

So I go back in a few days, another draft. He called me in the next day and he said, "Are you sure this is the best you can do?" I said, "Well, I really thought so. I'll try one more time." Anyway, this went on eight times, eight drafts; each time he said, "Is this the best you can do?"

So I went in there with a ninth draft, and when he called me in the next day and asked me that same question, I really got exasperated and I said, "Henry, I've beaten my brains out - this is the ninth draft. I know it's the best I can do: I can't possibly improve one more word."

He then looked at me and said, "In that case, now I'll read it…"

This is the season for appropriately repairing our mistakes and asking for forgiveness. At the same time, it’s also essential to take stock of what we do right and ask if we are doing enough.

We give tzedakah. Can we give more?
We believe in Jewish education. Can we study something new? Can we be more supportive of Jewish educational institutions?
We love our family and friends. Can we be more attentive, responsive, or supportive?

It is not only the sinner who can become a Ba’al Teshuva. Each of us must make a reckoning of how much more is possible. While we may not always think of ourselves as Ba’alei Teshuva, maybe we should.

The fifth rebbe of Ger, Rabbi Simcha Bunim Alter (1898 – 1992), was once speaking to a teacher in a yeshiva for newly-observant young men. The man was detailing the pedagogical methods used in the institution and the radical changes that many of its graduates had made in their personal lives. The teacher realized that he might have inadvertently given a mistaken impression of his own background. "Don't get me wrong, Rebbe,” he said. “Though I work with them, I myself am not a Ba’al Teshuva."

The rebbe responded, "Why on earth not?”

On Yom Kippur, we engage in the process of rectifying our misdeeds while also figuring out how to be the best we can be. I want to be a Ba’al Teshuva. I think we all should. Why on earth not?