Atlantic Beach is NOT The Hamptons

Many people are commenting on an article in the New York Post entitled “Wall Street is eyeing this Long Island area as the ‘new Hamptons.’”

For those who live in Atlantic Beach, some are proud of the attention. Others would rather the secret remain a secret. Those of us who call AB home know how great it is here.

There is a major difference between the two locales which defies any comparison. As my colleague, Rabbi Simcha Willig, put it well in a recent Seudah Shlishit talk: The difference is neighbors.

In Atlantic Beach, we have neighbors. The houses are closer together, people bump into each other walking around, and people are just physically more proximate to one another. In the Hamptons, one doesn’t have neighbors. Houses are further apart, there is less interaction, and people are more secluded and inward focused.

As the Talmud teaches, “Eilu v’eilu divrei Elokim chaim ­– These are both valid ways to live.” God bless the Hamptons, the Catskills, and everywhere else people live and vacation. At the same time, having neighbors gives us an opportunity to put our interpersonal values to work.

A number of years ago, Trulia, an American online real estate marketplace and subsidiary of Zillow, did research into Americans’ attitudes about their neighbors. While two-thirds of Americans like their neighbors, only 53% know their neighbors’ names. Additionally, many Americans want neighbors who are like them, and even friendly neighbors can be judgmental, nosy, or passive-aggressive. What would the results be of a survey of the Modern Orthodox community?

Now is a god time to improve our neighborliness.

As we approach Tisha B’Av, we remember the destruction of the Temples in Jerusalem along with many of the tragedies we have faced throughout history. The Talmud (Yoma 9b) teaches:

“Why was the First Temple destroyed? Because of three things which prevailed there: idolatry, immorality, bloodshed... But why was the Second Temple destroyed, seeing that in its time they occupied themselves with Torah, mitzvot and acts of kindness? Because sinat chinam, baseless hatred, prevailed. This teaches you that baseless hatred is equal to the three sins of idolatry, illicit relations and murder.”

Jews didn’t get along with each other. The Talmud and Josephus recount the internecine strife that wracked the nation in the war against Rome. There were legitimate disagreements such as the best way to resist or accommodate the Romans. There were also many illegitimate personal disagreements that tore the nation apart. The Talmud famously relates the story of Kamtza and Bar Kamtza and how the uninvited guest was kicked out of a party and embarrassed publicly. This is an example of the sinat chinam which tore the nation apart.

To correct this historical mistake of sinat chinam, many invoke Rav Kook’s oft-quoted teaching:

“If we were destroyed, and the world with us, due to baseless hatred, then we shall rebuild ourselves, and the world with us, with baseless love, ahavat chinam.” (Orot HaKodesh vol. III, p. 324)

I don’t think it’s enough to aspire to ahavat chinam. We need to find a concrete way of expressing our desire to be close with others for no reason.

Living in Atlantic Beach – and not the Hamptons – provides the perfect opportunity.

Quite literally, we have neighbors. We can show love for our neighbors. We can get to know our neighbors. All we need to do is look to the left and look to the right. Do we know our neighbors’ names? Have we said hello? Invited them in for a drink or a Shabbat meal? Brought in their trash can (for those without those in-ground receptacles)? These are examples of ahavat chinam, practical ways to show unconditional love for others.

For the past two years, I have tried to reach out to all of our neighbors. We sent postcards to everyone in the area, have dropped off Purim gifts to Jews who aren’t members of the Shul, and tried to spread the light and joy of Chanukah with neighbors. In a small village like Atlantic Beach, it is so easy to demonstrate ahavat chinam in how we reach out to our neighbors.

Last Shabbat, Rabbi Mark Wildes of the Manhattan Jewish Experience noted that sharing Shabbat is the most efficient and effective way to engage Jews. It can introduce and inspire those who don’t yet appreciate the beauty of Shabbat, and, at the same time, deepen and enhance the experience of family and friends when we share our Shabbat with others. Engaging and sharing with our neighbors – wherever one lives - is a win-win proposition for all involved.

The New York Post was right about how great it is to live in Atlantic Beach. It just left out that the best part is having neighbors and the opportunity to show ahavat chinam and bring a little redemption to the world.