I am referring to Tu B’Av, which will be celebrated on Wendesday. It’s a lot like Sadie Hawkins Day (November 9), the fictional holiday from the Lil’ Abner comic strip when the unmarried women of Dogpatch pursued the single men. If a woman caught a man and dragged him back to the starting line by sundown, he had to marry her. It’s not exactly the Talmudic description of Tu B’Av, but it is pretty close.
The Mishna describes how the young women would select their men and say, “Bachur, young man – look up and see what kind of woman you can choose.” Tu B’Av, for most of its history, began and ended with the omission of Tachanun. Starting in the 1960s, it turned into the season of Singles Shabbatonim, and, even with the demise of the Kosher Catskills hotels, it remains associated with matchmaking and singles events. Israeli civil culture promotes festivals of singing and dancing on the night of Tu B'Av. The entertainment and beauty industries work overtime on this date.
1. Contemplate the glory, beauty and majesty of the world.
Rambam writes (Yesodei HaTorah 2:2):
“How does one come to love God? When a person contemplates God’s great, wondrous actions and creations, and through them beholds God’s inestimable and boundless wisdom, they immediately love, praise, glorify, and experience a great longing to know the Great Name, as King David said: ‘My soul thirsts for God’ (Tehillim 42:3).”
Clearly, we can only love and feel a connection if we have our eyes open. We need to keep our eyes open for all that is beautiful in the world. Sometimes, a sunset is just a sunset, but, sometimes, it offers a moment of sublime contemplation and appreciation for being alive and awareness of the One who made us.
2. Love being Jewish.
RRashi comments (Devarim 5:6), “Aseh devarav mei’ahava – Perform God’s commandments out of love and with passion.” Our observance of mitzvot and dedication to Jewish practice prove our love for God. This may be further understood from a Kabbalistic interpretation of the word “mitzvah,” connecting it to the concept of “tzavta,” which means connection. Our actions demonstrate our love. But is this always true? There are times I act without thinking of my love for God. We don’t often think about the motivation for our religious service. Sometimes charity is charity, and a Shabbat meal is a Shabbat meal – and not an expression of Divine love. Does this mean Ahavat Hashem is out of reach?
3. We love God by loving others.
In Isaiah 41:8, Avraham is described as: “Avraham ohavi,” which can be translated as, “Avraham my friend.” I think a better translation is “Avraham, who loved me.”
Avraham loved God. He was so full of love that it spilled over to others. He loved God, so he loved people. Avraham was full of love. He loved Sarah and Hagar. He loved Yitzchak and Yishmael. He loved Lot and Eliezer. Sometimes, his love blinded him to the flaws of others, but it didn’t matter. There is no such thing as too much love.
Rabbi Rafi Feuerstein, a noted Israeli rabbi and educator, captured it well: “One who really loves God is able to see the light, the good, in everything.”
Avraham loved God so much that he wanted others to experience what he experienced. He shared this love with humanity. What was the secret of his love? Avraham possessed an ayin tovah, a good eye. (Avot 5:9) Avraham had the right perspective and a positive outlook. He channeled his love for God through an ayin tovah, to see the best in others and to seek out and connect with others.
We can try to love God through contemplating the glory of his creation, and we can also try to love God by imbuing every action with religious purpose and devotion. We can accomplish love of God by acting in ways that are decent and just, that strengthen the bonds between people.
We live in very crazy times where words divide people into camps without any room for compromise. Decency seems to be on the defensive. The Torah’s idea of love provides an antidote. Every single day in the Shema, we invoke our responsibility to love God. More often than not, for me at least, it is a religious ideal, something spiritual or even mystical. Loving God, though, is also something very practical. It means keeping our eyes open and having passion. It means doing small actions that might be characterized as unnecessary. It means modeling the type of behavior that inspires people be better. It means loving God by loving others and restoring bonds between people.
If that is love, then, just maybe, all we need is love, and love is all we need.
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