Quiet Down!

 All that is expected of us is to be quiet.

“Hashem yilacheim lachem v’atem tacharishun – God will fight for you while you should be quiet.” (Shemot 14:14)

 

With the Egyptians bearing down on them, the Jews, understandably, panic and question leaving Egypt. Moshe reassures them by promising salvation. “God will take care of it. All you need to do is be quiet.”

 

Silence is golden. Silence can be uncomfortable. We like to talk.

 

Like in Shul.

 

There is an old joke about an atheist who goes to shul every week and sits next to his friend Goldberg. One day, someone asks the atheist why he keeps coming to services if he doesn’t believe in God. He replies, “Goldberg goes to shul to talk to God. I go to shul to talk to Goldberg.”

Over the years, some groups have designated this Shabbat as “Shabbat Tacharishun,” a Shabbat to focus on decorum. As one rabbi explained, “Hashem will fight for you against the schemes of the evil inclination, but that is provided you fulfill the condition in the verse, ‘and you shall remain silent.’ If you restrain yourselves from speaking about worldly matters in shul, then you will merit God’s assistance.”

Let’s just say it’s not a very popular initiative…

Talking in shul has always been an issue. In the 17^th century, Rabbi Yom Tov Lipmann Heller composed the following prayer:

May God Who blessed Avraham, Yitzchak and Yaakov, Moshe and Aaron, David and Shlomo bless those who guard their mouth and tongue from speaking during prayers. The Holy One Blessed be He shall guard them from every trouble and distress and from every plague and illness, and they shall be subject to all the blessings written in the Torah of Moshe and all the Prophets and Scriptures. May they merit healthy children educated to become Torah scholars, marry them off and educate them to do good deeds, and serve Hashem truthfully. Amen.

People like to talk. People, thankfully, feel comfortable in Shul. Put them together, and talking in Shul doesn’t feel so wrong. I get it. While I discourage talking and hope that people who feel the need to talk – and loudly at that – take it outside, we should try to better appreciate the power of silence. We come to shul to daven, to learn, to see people, and, last but not least, to enjoy Kiddush. Our silence can enhance our davening and the experience of those around us. Religious law aside, keeping quiet in shul is an opportunity to strengthen ourselves with the positive power of silence.

V’atem tacharishun – What are some benefits of silence?

First, silence demonstrates faith. While we believe in the necessity of human effort, there comes a point when we must also nurture our appreciation that God plays a guiding role in our lives. One of the most powerful demonstrations of humility and faith is silence. We don’t have all the answers. What we see in front of us – like what the Jews saw in front of them at the sea, isn’t the whole picture. Stop, listen, contemplate, silence.

Second, silence shows strength. As columnist Peggy Noonan noted, the term “strong silent type” emerges from the fact that silence can reflect self-confidence without needing to fill the pauses with words. It indicates a person’s ability to control or even transcend a situation. The loudest person in a room is often the most insecure. Silence can also add a layer of mystery, intrigue, and respect. People wonder what the silent person is thinking and, therefore, respect their silence. The interplay between silence and respect is on display every time we observe a “moment of silence”.

Third, silence expresses empathy. One of the first skills mental health professionals learn is “active listening.” It entails overcoming the urge to speak first, to interject, or question someone in the middle of their talking. Active listening employs silence to provide space that allows the other person to express themselves while also feeling as if they have been heard. Empathic silence and active listening are essential at a shiva house. It can be very uncomfortable to sit there silently, yet that is what Jewish law proscribes and the mourner needs.

“Rabbi Shimon would say: All my life I have been raised among the wise, and I have found nothing better for a person than silence.” (Avot 1:17)

Talking is terrific. We talk to God. We talk to friends. We share our views. We make friends. It is easy to talk.

Silence is sublime. We connect to God and people through silence. We demonstrate our strength, wisdom, and compassion through silence.

We live in a loud, noisy world in which everyone seems to have something to say. We would all benefit from a little more silence, a little more patience, a little more kindness, a little more empathy, and a lot more humility.

Actions speak more loudly than words. Silence may speak loudest of all.